Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man

Taking a little break from the web series stuff this week and wanted to talk about something that makes me chuckle to myself.  I'm sure everyone's heard about the Steve Harvey book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.  And then there's the movie that's coming out with the same name.  Now there's a J-hud, Neo Rick Ross song called Think Like a Man.

Now the book, song and movie all have the same thing in common.  They're pretty-much telling women that they should think like men.  That's the main focus.  Okay, whatever.  I get it.  But what about the "Act Like a Lady" part?  I think that's where I'm having trouble, lol.  I was raised in a family with all women.  1 Single parent mom, 2 aunts, 2 sisters, a half sister and 1 step sister.  You would have thought that with all of this estrogen, I would have gotten at least one feminine trait.  The boyfriend argues with that...thank god!  (He's one of the few guys that can overlook my weirdness).

Either way, I could use some Act Like a Lady lessons in these 3 areas . . . 

1.  Clothing - I know that mixing and matching clothing and styles is "in" now, but I don't think that the clothes I wear is what fashionistas have in mind.  Kid you not, my every day, lounging around the house "go to" style is an oversized red, Coca-cola T-shirt tucked into a faded, black, chiffon skirt with long, white socks.  It looks HORRIBLE.  The only reason the boyfriend likes this outfit is because I only wear it when I don't feel like wearing underwear which is like everyday.  Ladylike?  I didn't think so.  And when I leave the privacy of my own home, it's no better.  My version of getting dressed up is putting on jeans.  And I can't wear high heels for longer than a half hour.

2.  Getting Out the Car - Can't do it.  Correction, can't do it without looking like a dude.  And if I'm wearing heels...just leave me in the damned thing.  The struggling and grunting that accompanies my getting out of a car is laughable and then a little sad.  Yeah, lessons please.

3.  Chit-chat - I SUCK at "lady-like" chit chat.  I snort when I laugh and like to talk about things that are gross.  For example, pooping.  That is like my favorite subject . . . pooping and movies.

So yeah, any help would be appreciated.  How about somebody focusing on the "Act Like a Lady" part of the book for a change?

Just a thought.  :-)

On another note...

I'm planning on applying to grad school.  Yes, you heard me.  All of those worries about being in debt for the rest of my life have taken a back seat to my worries about letting life pass me by.  I can't take another year of sitting in this living room applying to a bunch of low level jobs because I don't have the skills necessary to land something better.  I went to college so I wouldn't have to worry about that.  It's obvious that our country has shifted and now you need more than a 4 year degree to get the big normal, middle-class dollars.  Apparently, the only person that didn't know that was me.   So it's time to get my ish together.  When you know better . . . (sigh)  Either way, my plan is to move to California. My timeline is August of this year.  I have to take my GRE's and start doing research.  The thought of all of the work I have to do is a little scary, but exciting.  It's time to take another big chance.  I don't know if this is the direction God wants me to go in, but I'm getting tired of guessing what's going on with the Big Guy's plans for me.  He's a little hard to read these days, so I'm just going to go for it and regret (or celebrate) it later, like I've done my whole life.  I think it's safe to say that I suck at reading the "signs."

This plan kind of gives me the same feelings that I felt when I was about to leave for Japan.  Doubts, fears, excitement, adventure, confusion, worry, happiness, everything.  I'm just a big mixture of feelings.  Am I really going to go through with this?  Ahhh.  But it's coming.  Something's definitely coming, I can feel it.  So, as I've been telling everybody these days . . .

Send me good vibes people!

I Need a Person

I rarely ever use blogger to vent.  In fact, I am not very good at posting on a regular basis.  Maybe because I know that my significant other reads this or maybe just because I usually always have someone to vent to (sorry, Mom for making your ears bleed - lol). But today is one of those days where I need to pour out my soul.

So, those new memes that have started to appear on facebook?  You know . . .



So yeah, that's mine.  :-)  And boy is it true!  Downed 2 excedrin 3 hours ago and still waiting for them to kick in.

Regardless, I have a member of my crew (an old college friend) that I would like to fire.  I am convinced that he is trying to sabotage my web series.  Here is the list of things that he's done (thus far) to make me want to end his life.

- Told me that he wanted to be the casting director for my project and proceeds to book a room to use for auditions on Saturday at 2pm.  On Saturday, he accepts the responsibility of babysitting his 7 and 10 year old nieces.

- At precisely 1:45pm (after his car dies and we jump it), he tells me that he has to go pick someone else up.

- I tell him to do whatever the hell he wants (even though I've never held an audition before) because shit, it's 2pm and I don't have time to worry about it.  However, he has his 2 (bad ass) nieces, which he proceeds to leave with me while he goes out to pick up the 3rd person - who must be important - because why the hell would the casting director leave his own auditions unless it was for something important?

- He heads out to pick up another child. (Because he works in an after school program and saw THIS AUDITION as a great opportunity to show the kid something positive.)   Comes to the audition 45 minutes later with no kid (because said kid was not even home.)

- Asked to play the DJ on the first episode and did not bring ANY DJ'ing equipment.

- Showed up late for the first episode because he had a prior engagement.

- Stood outside of prior engagement hanging out and talking to people (because - despite the fact that he knew I was waiting for him - he didn't know I was waiting across the street).

- Twice in a row, has either over-casted an episode or under-casted.  Today 3 people showed up for the same part, and two people didn't even show up AT ALL.  (My head is pounding as I type this).  In other words, for 2 of the three episodes that we shot, we didn't have the people we needed - which is a HUGE freaking deal.

- Keeps bringing people with NO ACTING EXPERIENCE to play roles in the web series.  Lies and says these people will be "great" and proceeds to tell people not to mention that they have no experience.

- Tells people they have roles that they do not have and then proceeds to manipulate the production so that these people can have these roles.

- Is annoying, makes funny sounds during taping, talks too damn much and does nothing but text people while we are shooting.

- Argues everything.

So that's that.  He is one of the main characters in the show, unfortunately, and while dude can act his ass off, I can't wait to fire him as the casting guy.  This was his last day (as casting director) and from this point on, I plan on casting my own show.

I Need a Person

One thing that I keep saying throughout this production is "I need a person."  Nobody seems to get what that means (which is understandable - because I'm surrounded by "persons"). But the fact that nobody gets this serves to me as even more evidence that I need a person.  So allow me to explain.  When I was in Japan, I made a best friend.  A soul-mate, if you will.  She was "my person."  I could walk into a room and without so much as an explanation, I could ask her, "hat or scarf?" and she would be like "Scarf!"  I would sit down and a warm cup of tea would appear in front of me.  It was like we were always communicating, even when we weren't.  It kind of felt like in those movies when the two heroes would be back to back, fighting off the enemy, moving in a circle, kicking ass.  Unfortunately, she lives in California now and I have no one.  Don't get me wrong, I have some best friends out here on the East Coast - including the signif. other, but I don't have a "person."  And this peeves the S.O. because he would like to consider himself my "person."

But, he's not.

So while I'm shooting, these are the things that I end up dealing with . . .
- Doing audio (because I'm the audio person)
- Making sure everyone is okay
- Introducing myself and explaining the scenes to the actors (the ones who actually bother to show up)
- Answering questions
- Deciding how the scene will be shot visually and logistically (being that we are missing actors)
- Moving things out the way
- Giving people directions to my home
- Trying to keep the production moving because we're "losing daylight"
- Telling people how to say their lines
- Making sure everyone has their script

Now these are all things that I don't mind doing, but some of these things could stand to be outsourced - and if I had "a person" they would know that.  For example,  I asked my S.O. if he could run out and grab some food before people arrived.  Unfortunately, he ended up on a 45 minute phone call with his sister.  When he got off the phone, he proceeded to clean the apartment from top to bottom, insisting that we move the furniture around to get the places under the table.  I vacuumed and then he goes behind me vacuuming to make sure that I got all of the spots, even though you can't tell with our rug.  Then, of course, everyone showed up and it was too late to get food.  I was disappointed and hungry as hell.

People got to my place and started asking for water and my stomach was growling so loud during production that I waited for it to stop before I shouted "Action." It was a bad moment for me because providing food was the only payoff I could get for these people.  It was the only thing that I'd promised and not only did it NOT happen, but people ended up being in my (hot ass) apartment for hours on end with absolutely nothing to eat or drink (besides, of course, water).

My signif. other/ love of my life/ future husband/ camera guy spends way too much time on shots that I don't care about.  When I want to pow-wow with him, he is nowhere to be found.  I am surrounded by my actors who want to give me advice about shit that doesn't concern them whatsoever and my camera guy is shooting a rose on the ground or the outside of a building.  When I ask him for advice, he replies with "You're the director." Sometimes I think he hates me when we are shooting the web series.  And I don't blame him.  I forget to say action, forget to call the scene, forget to say "cut," forget to quiet everyone on the set, forget what scene we are shooting, forget to push record on audio, etc.  And then when he goes to do those things, I yell at him and say, "I know!"  I don't know where this monster comes from - and it is embarrassing.  After we finish shooting, I feel exhausted, angry and ashamed and I want to grab a beer, in a bar, alone.

Don't get me wrong, I love telling a story through the camera.  I love the idea that this will one day be on the public access channel in my town and on the internet and people can look at it and laugh.  If I had a million dollar budget, this would be much easier.  But I don't.  I am broke as hell, lol.  So I have to rely on myself and my excedrin.

And craigslist.

So tomorrow, I will be posting an ad for "a person."  Hopefully, they won't mind being paid in water.

Being a Director is HARD

So I have one and a half episodes under my belt, thus far and things are crazy.  Pumping out a scene means getting locations, actors, equipment, time, etc. and these are all things that don't come easy.   It's kind of like trying to take a civilized picture of a house full of animals.  There is always someone straying out of the photo or the flash doesn't go off and you have to keep everyone's attention before they all wander away, going in opposite directions.  Regardless, I have never been so sure that this is what I want to do.  It's kind of like, the more I have to work hard for this - the more I realize that I'm cut out for this kind of work.  *sigh*  Either I'm a glutton for heart attack inducing situations or I'm a director at heart.  I'd like to think it's the latter.  :-)

Scorcese . . . I'm coming for ya!

Diary of a Mad Unemployed Black Woman

I'm convinced that these companies are posting job openings just to make the economy look better.  I have been emailing this one station down the street from me for months.  They have been posting the same job since forever.  Last Thursday, I worked up the nerve to actually go to the place and hand in my reel along with a resume, some references and a cover letter.  I asked if it would be possible to speak to someone and  was told by the (very friendly) front desk person that the HR guy was too busy but that the next day would be better and I should just stop by then.  Well, I stopped by the next day and the HR guy walked right past me without saying a word.  And then I was told by the front desk person that he was too busy.  Too busy?!  Too busy to tell someone that "the job is no longer open"?  Too busy to say, "We're sorry but we're considering other candidates"?  Too busy to say, "You are perfect for the job but I just don't like your face, so please get out of here"?  I mean anything . . . tell me ANYTHING but at least have the decency and respect for me as a human being to speak.  I don't understand why I am getting the same exact response from all of these jobs  . . . which is no response whatsoever.  Well, actually I can understand it a little because for all of the other jobs, I just emailed or snail-mailed my resume.  But in this particular case, I was literally sitting in the lobby.  The ONLY person in that little-ass lobby, in that empty-ass building.  And the man was too "busy" to tell me anything.  Whatever.  And I know I sound crazy, right now.   But I can assure you, I did not stalk dude.  Actually, he emailed me 6 months ago and told me to apply to the job in the first place.  And when I did, I didn't hear back from him.  And then all of these months later, the job is open again and I sent another resume and followed up by stopping by the station to drop off my reel.  It's really not all that serious and I guess that's where my frustration comes from.  If I'd have been disrespectful or over the top, I could understand his ignoring/avoiding me.  But I have done nothing deserving of disrespect and the only thing I want to know is if the job is still available and if maybe - just maybe - I could get an interview.

Regardless, I am determined to do things on my own.  I will continue to work on my "brand" and try to get my little video productions going until one day I am successful.  Sometimes I consider going back to school and getting a Master's but I am obsessed with paying off my old student loans before making new ones.  On a more positive note, I am grateful that I have some experience under my belt and that I am not new to "the struggle."

Life will turn itself around.  I'm just wondering when and how.

Web Series

So I shot the first episode of my web series last night.  And there's way too much to say in one post. But I'll put it this way, in Jay Z's words (and I hate to have to quote that man, but . . . ) I need more people.  Last night, I was the director, producer, logistics person, audio technician, gaffer and production assistant.  It was ridiculous.  Thank God, I had a camera guy - who was also the production manager, lighting guy and Assistant Director.  I'm embarrassed to roll the credits at the end of this episode, lol.  Either way, we gotter-done.  Despite the fact that my DJ/actor decided not to bring his got-dang laptop.  How do you bring all of your DJ'ing equipment and not bring the laptop which contains all of your music?  That's like trying to cook without food.  Regardless, he played music off of his phone (which was dead, and thank God I brought my phone charger) and so the episode went on as planned - despite the efforts of Satan and the DJ.

All (well, not all, but a good portion) of my lovely friends came out and we shot a party scene which was a lot of fun, but really ambitious of us.  I'm editing it now and of course there are a few things that I have complaints about - but I guess it's growing pains and we did pretty good for a first time.  Either way, I'm pretty excited about this project and it's great to have something that I can say I directed.  Hopefully, this will lead to other things.  I'll be sure to post the episode and promo vids once I finish editing.

:-)

2011 Recap

 Here's a recap of my 2011 . . .

 January

Actually, the year started off on an interesting note.  Imagine sitting in a hotel in South Korea, alone.  That was me.  I'd flew from Japan to Korea in order to visit a friend from college.  When I came there to kick it, as Kanye would put it, things became different.  Long story short, she flipped on me and made my visit a living hell.  So I did something kind of crazy and cut my visit short by leaving.  The problem was that my flight was for January third and I'd left her place on December 28th (or something like that).  So I had about 6 days to walk around Korea (which I knew absolutely nothing about) and no where to go.  In other words, I was stranded.  So I took a 3 hour bus ride to Incheon (pronounced In-chun) airport and found a hotel in the area.  I had a really bad cold, so I spent the first couple days sniffling and coughing in a hotel while watching downloaded movies online.  Then a glimmer of hope.  A friend of mine from Japan told me that she was in Korea too and wanted to hook up.  So on this day last year (December 31st) I walked around the major train station looking for her.  Unfortunately, I never found the girl and ended up picking up some pizza and made my way back to my cozy little hotel room.  I chatted with one of my childhood friends (who also lived in Japan - but happened to be in America at the time) and did the countdown with him.  In other words, the year started off RANDOM AS ALL HELL.  Unfortunately, this is when I stopped blogging.  Regardless, I survived, got back to Japan and it turned into an interesting year.  Oh, and the rest of January turned out to be a whole lot of eating delicious Japanese foods, hanging with my girlfriends and having a blast.

February

Continuation of hanging with my Japanese family.  Onsens (butt naked public baths = AWESOMENESS), udon (better than ramen noodles), kakigori (de-freaking-licious shaved ice), dancing, singing, crying, creating beautiful memories with my Japanese soul mates.


March
Back to America.  Getting used to it all.  Actually got back to work on a temp job.  Then suddenly, an earthquake and tsunami hit and all of my thoughts went back to Japan.  I was devastated and kept kicking myself, thinking "Why am I in America when I should be in Japan right now?!"  I know, strange thought.  It was part guilt, part sadness, part . . . I don't know, everything!


April
Working the temp job and visiting friends.  Still getting back to life.  Editing the video of my overseas experiences.  Getting asked 2 questions about Japan.  "What was the food like?"  and "Why are you back?"  Oh and one question from the boyf.  "Will you marry me?"  Kind of freaked out a little and told him, I'd need more time to think about it.

                                May
The big event (for my job) came and went.  Suddenly, my schedule was becoming more . . . empty.  I still had a paycheck coming in so I wasn't sweating it.



June
Big trip to Disney World with the nieces and my sisters.  Going to Disney pretty much took up the whole month, even though it was a 5 day, 4 night trip.  By the end of everything, I wanted to shoot myself.  But the kids had fun.  And that was what it was all about.





     July
Okay, it was time to plunge into the job hunt.  I sent out a million resumes, joined Linked In and started emailing folks like . . . well, like it was my job.

August
Paid 800 bucks to go to a big Media and Journalist's convention in Philadelphia.  Handed out my resume to everyone who would take one.  Prayed, networked, pitched, bitched, put on business suit after business suit, laughed, sweat, and ran into my ex boyfriend.  Still . . . nothing.

September
Still job hunting every day.  Money is at an all time low.  My spirit is at an all time low until suddenly, I get an interview offer.  My car breaks down on the way to the interview and the lady changes her mind about me, the interview and everything else.  I am devastated and go into a state of depression so low that I begin to question God's existence.

October
I decide to stop looking for a job.  I sit around reading The Hunger Games and playing Bejeweled for days at a time.  No bath.  No change of clothes.  I was gross.

November
My friend gives me a lead on an insurance gig.  I decide that I'm interested and will sell my soul for the job.  Fortunately, this is not necessary.  I just need to be willing to invest 3,000 bucks into my future, not including the cost of training and the need for a new computer.  I was all about it, until the day kept creeping forward for me to jump in and start forking over the cash.  Then I postponed "the dream."

December
Well, I decided that the insurance gig was not my dream and that my postponing the training was really just my way of backing out.  I decided to stop telling people what I was doing every day or that I needed any job.  In other words, I took a nice, long break from explaining myself and pressuring myself.  So far, so good.  So a couple days ago, I watched The Secret and decided that my new life is right around the corner.  Next week, I will be working.  Where?  I don't know.  What I'll be doing?  I don't know the answer to that either.  But I'm sure that 2012 will be a year full of blessings and opportunity.  And if last year could start off with me in a random hotel in South Korea, then I'm sure next year will come with plenty of strange, fun and exciting twists and turns as well.

So here's to the New Year!

CHEERS!!!  (and be safe everybody!)

Web Series

So, I decided not to take that Insurance Gig.  Actually, the boyf kind of made that choice for me with his wallet.  There are a bunch of expensive things involved with getting that gig and since my pockets are starving, the boyfriend would have been forking over the cash.  Being that he thinks the job is stupid, he's cock-blocking . . . with his - uh - wallet.   And I don't blame him.  My insides were kicking and screaming with the thought of taking on that job - and I know times are hard, but there's GOT TO be a better way.

In the meantime of pursuing my dream job, I've decided to do something that won't be adding a cent to my bank statements.  I'll be shooting a webseries.  Yes, you heard me - a webseries!  I'm super excited about this endeavor because it's something I've always wanted to do and the storyline is based off of every friendship that I've ever had.  Besides (even though I don't have any readers for this blog) I know that I am an amazing writer and I can't wait to see my stories come to "the screen" - even if it's a computer screen.  And take that blogosphere - you don't validate me!!!! hahahaha!  *sigh*  :-(

Anyway, I've already gotten some of the equipment together and I've also gotten a few actors to act in it.  We will be shooting the first episode on January 8th and God knows when we'll start posting them to YouTube, but it's-a-coming.  Excited is not the word!!!  Elated?  Hysterical?

Until then, I've been joining the webseries communities online and watching all kinds of shows.  And let me tell you, there are a lot of good ones out there.  Such as . . .

Shit Girls Say (Don't watch while eating - you will choke)



Of course . . . The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl



Drama Queenz (If you are a homophobe, this is NOT for you - but I am in LOVE w/this show)



and one of my personal faves . . . Shitty Fabulous Lives



Please watch these shows and support the webseries community.  There are a lot of great shows online.

Love ya!
Arnetta