Let's Do Lunch

I used to be the kind of girl that heard the phrase, we should get lunch some time and actually believed that the person who uttered this meaningless, hyperbolic rhetoric would like to sit down in an environment that serves a pre-dinner meal and indulge in socialization with me. If exchanging phone numbers and/or business cards, I was always the one to call. When someone said, "Let's hang out some time," I thought to myself "I'll call them the next time I go (insert event here)." And how did people respond to my brand of social eagerness? With horror and confusion. LOL It always amazed me.

It's been a while since I've been in one of those awkward situations (Thank God) but I laugh sometimes when I think about how many times I have called up random people who'd told me that we should "do lunch" and attempted to take them up on their offer. It would always go like this . . .

Ring, ring, ring! (that's the phone yall)

Ring, ring, ring! Click!

Them: (confused) Uh, hello?

Me: (excited) Yeah, hey ~blank~ it's me, Arnetta!

Them: (awkward and still a little confused) Oh . . . heeeeey.

Me: About that lunch invitation. How's Sunday? I know a great brunch spot!

Them: Oh, uh, I . . . hmmm

End Scene!

Nowadays I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum. I laugh at fake jokes, make "small talk" about the weather and throw in a "taking it one day at a time" and agree that "we should really get together some time" . . . "it would be absolutely wonderful if we all just got together" and then walk away knowing I have no intentions of ever seeing that person again. Sometimes, I kind of miss my social innocence. Back before I was a cynic and a phony.

Who made up these rules?