I Need a PR Person

I need to get into this writing thing.  Ughhhhh!!!!  Seriously!  What's the damn bloodclot?!

Now that that's out of the way . . . lately I've been feeling in a rush.  The whole moving across the country thing is starting to get to me.  Nightmares about going back to school and taking a big test are starting up again along with the nightmare of being in a car that has no breaks.  The nightmare of running down a highway at night.  Just nothing but dreams filled with panic and confusion.

Me and the man-friend have decided that March is going to be THE month.  All or nothing, baby!  The main thing is getting a job.  I'll be damned if I'm going to work at a mall again - on purpose.  I'm hitting the ground running when I get there and the plan is to land something in my field.  I'm feeling quite behind when it comes to modern technology, however.  I don't have a million facebook friends.  I don't have a million twitter followers.  I don't instagram.  I guess I don't find my life so interesting that I feel the need to share it with the world - says the girl who is blogging.  I guess what I mean is that all of those social networking sites are made for people who are promoting themselves in some sense or another and I don't have anything to promote right now.  Currently, I work at the mall in a job that is not in my field at all.  My relationship with my fiancee is very VERY low-key/under the radar.  I'm busy all the time and when I'm not busy, I watch movies or sleep.  Social networking is not really at my top of the list of things to do.  But I feel like jobs are looking for people who are interesting and have a huge cyber following.  The one thing that's in my corner is that I will be releasing my new web series soon so . . . yeah!  That takes up a lot of my time and I hope that the investment pays off.  Actually, that's a huge accomplishment.  *pats self on back*

So, I was at the gym the other day lifting weights and an old R&B song came on (something cheezy and greasy like Lisa Lisa Cult Jam or a Shalamar song) and I smiled to myself for a second, just taking it all in.  And then my stomach dropped.  And this just goes to show you how random my train of thoughts are - I thought to myself, "Crap!  Jobs are not looking for weirdos like me."  Don't worry, I'll explain the connection.  Nowadays it's not enough to just be AT the gym.  You have to take a picture of yourself at the gym and put it on FB, Instagram, Twitter and whatever else there is along with a caption that says "Getting my fitness on" or some sh** and of course with a hashtag #fitLife or #HealthLifestyle etc.  And if you are listening to an 80's song, you of course have to mention that you are listening to the song in an "ironic" kind of way, as if it just happens to be on - not because you genuinely enjoy it and it's on your iPod because that is the kind of music you listen to by choice.  For some odd reason, I felt very f*cked in that split second of a moment.  Like I need a PR person.  #MyLifeShouldBeCooler

Am I overreacting?  Lol

A Strange Dream

I swear I have the weirdest dreams.

So this dream takes place in a room. Just a plain, clinical looking, white room. The camera (in my mind, lol) is cutting all over the place. There are a bunch of people (all Black people) sitting in a circle just talking.

The first guy that I noticed talking was some big dude with a hair process. He was tall, thick, dark skinned and handsome. The women in the room were swooning over him as he talked about himself, bragging and saying all kinds of superficial garbage. I remember one of the women saying, "He don't got much to say, but he sure is foin!" and she's crossing her legs flirtatiously and giggling along with some other woman who is saying the same kind of stuff. Everybody in the room can't seem to deny this guy's "flyness."

Later on, someone else (I think one of the 2 women who were swooning) goes next and begins talking. Meanwhile, there is a married couple (both dressed very conservatively) talking amongst themselves. My mind camera cuts between the couple and everybody else who is taking their turn speaking about themselves (or whatever the heck this therapy meeting is about in the first dang place.) So noticeably, married guy is whispering and being judge-mental and rude until finally someone must have called him on it and so begins an argument between him and "random woman" at therapy group meeting. They're going back and forth, back and forth as rude, married, conservative guy is slinging insults left and right. Next thing you know, a guy with a Garfield tie (yes, Garfield) finally stands up to the antagonizing married dude. Antagonizing married dude stands up, aggressively and says to his wife (who we now see as being submissive and quiet), "Forget this! I'm waiting in the car. Come out when you're done!" He storms out of the room and everybody seems to exhale a sigh of relief.

The camera goes back to the guy with the Garfield tie and he's rubbing his face with his tie, but we also see that he's wiping his tears. Next thing you know, he asks? "Anybody want to hear a joke?" And everybody says yes at the same time. The guy goes into a joke about Garfield (a joke that he tells wrong, mind you) and surprisingly, everybody in the room breaks into laughter. And then it hit me . . . everybody in the room was in some strange way, a form of myself.

I'm going to have to stop eating blueberries before I go to bed. Or maybe I just had a psychological breakthrough. Who knows? Lol