Sunday, October 25, 2009

Strange Fruit

I'm in a conspiracy theory, anti-patriotic mood this morning. And it's all because of fruit.

I grew up in a dirt poor neighborhood and one thing that I will always remember is eating pomegranates on a regular basis. You could buy them at a grocery store, the corner store, anywhere. Back then we called them "Chinese Apples." Now pomegranates have been discovered by the mainstream. They are the new "it-fruit."

"Scientists say the leathery-skinned, orange-sized fruit with the sweet-tart juice may help with heart disease, cancer and problems associated with aging. It's loaded with antioxidants, vitamins, potassium, folic acid and iron. Pomegranates are the new superfood. Green tea and red wine, which have fewer antioxidants than pomegranates, are yesterday's health news." (Pomegranates: Jewels in the Fruit Crown by Bonnie Wolf)

Now you can't seem to find a pomegranate anywhere in the ghetto. They are only at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. Or if they are in a grocery store, the price is not cheap. Granted, I've moved out of the poor neighborhood and can actually go to a Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, I still can't help but to give the side-eye when I hear scientists singing the praises of this once available fruit staple in the poor man's diet. So yeah, (among other healthy fruits and vegetables) no more pomegranates in the Gitto!

The question is how come they don't want working class folk to have access to healthy foods?

Probably for the same reason "they" don't want poor people to . . .

- have health care
- be able to afford hybrid cars
- live in clean, safe and drug free neighborhoods
- receive an advanced education
- be able to afford a decent place to live off of a working-class salary
- hell . . . be able to afford anything decent off of a working-class salary

But you gotta admit, they DO make it easy for poor people to . . .
- buy guns
- buy liquor
- eat a whole lotta fast food and live an unhealthy lifestyle
- not pursue college because of money problems/below par education/hopelessness/depression
- mess up their own credit
- get preggars and collect a check and NOT get married
- live off a tiny check and not be able to save money
- live a stressful a$$ life

Can you tell I took a lot of Social Science classes? I know a lot of people might argue that . . .

#1 - the poor do it to themselves
To an extent this may be true but I believe that a society can only be judged by how they treat their most unfortunate and certain things should just be available to EVERYBODY (yes . . . even public school teachers!) Teacher's salaries in poor neighborhoods suck yall, for realz!
Sidebar: Growing up a teacher at my school was working overnight at the local gas station to make the ends meet. Talk about being surprised seeing your teacher outside of school. But also they need to weed out the bad school teachers (there's a lot of those in the ghetto too).

#2 - there are other countries that are waaaay worse.
Okay, my thing is . . . I don't think it's okay to excuse bad behavior based on it being worse somewhere else. You still gotta strive to do better. Sorry! (*whispers* not really sorry :-).

#3 - the gubment is doing all they can.
They ain't doing sheeit, but trying to maintain their present way of life.

So in conclusion, once I start seeing pomegranates back in the ghetto, I will start to believe that we may be turning the corner on this great disparity between the rich and poor in this country. But for now, I think that we have a lot of soul searching to do as a society.


Monday, October 19, 2009

In the News . . .

Okay, was just watching the video of this family making complete arses out of themselves on national television and had to drop my 2 cents in there.

Right when little Falcon spills the beans @35 seconds . . . THAT IS SOOO ME WHEN I WAS HIS AGE!!! LOL I couldn't lie to save my life. I was that kid that you would have to practice with over and over again. "Now if such-and-such calls, Mommy went to the grocery store. Did you get that Arnetta? The grocery store. So if anybody asks . . . where did Mommy go?" And there I was with my fingers in my mouth nodding my head and bouncing around the room . . .

"Arnetta? Arnetta? Listen to me. What do you say if such-and-such calls?"

Me, blank stare.

Mom, deep sigh. "Huh? What are you going to say Netty?"

"Ummm . . . (long pause, sneaky smile) youuu said you weeere (pause and then proudly finish up) at the grocery store!" I was adorable!

Bottom line, #1 - don't lie and #2 - don't get your kids to lie for you. They will blow your cover and then ask you what it was that you wanted them to lie about in the first place in front of the people you want them to lie to. They will think it's a game and make you look like a jackass. Lol. Oh and somebody must have been under a lot of pressure, because a poot escaped right along with the truth. Probably why the bible says "the truth will set you free." Did you see the mom and dad nodding their heads profusely, trying to coax him along. Aaaah hahaha!!!

I didn't really follow this story too much to begin with but when I heard that the family was on Wife-Swap, the whole thing really lost credibility for me. The dad looks like an attention whore and he also looks a little "off" so I hope he's not abusing his family behind closed doors. Which I could totally see being the case since that little boy was throwing up on another interview. To sum it all up, they looked like a train-wreck and a reality show starring them would probably be mad dysfunctional.

But seriously, though, this little publicity stunt is so American to me. We have got to stop being so shallow and insincere and attention-whorish as a culture. Probably why our word (and money) mean absolutely nothing to other countries. Also probably why we don't have any real skills as Americans either. Nothing to export, nothing to offer the world except entertainment. People need to teach their kids to make a living by studying science or math and inventing something that other people actually need, rather than trying to get a Jon and Kate Plus 8 television deal. Boy I tell ya!

Well that's all the soap-box preachery I got for now.

In other news I think I may start looking for another header. Go on and have a nice day now!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

A Strange Dream

I swear I have the weirdest dreams.

So this dream takes place in a room. Just a plain, clinical looking, white room. The camera (in my mind, lol) is cutting all over the place. There are a bunch of people (all Black people) sitting in a circle just talking.

The first guy that I noticed talking was some big dude with a hair process. He was tall, thick, dark skinned and handsome. The women in the room were swooning over him as he talked about himself, bragging and saying all kinds of superficial garbage. I remember one of the women saying, "He don't got much to say, but he sure is foin!" and she's crossing her legs flirtatiously and giggling along with some other woman who is saying the same kind of stuff. Everybody in the room can't seem to deny this guy's "flyness."

Later on, someone else (I think one of the 2 women who were swooning) goes next and begins talking. Meanwhile, there is a married couple (both dressed very conservatively) talking amongst themselves. My mind camera cuts between the couple and everybody else who is taking their turn speaking about themselves (or whatever the heck this therapy meeting is about in the first dang place.) So noticeably, married guy is whispering and being judge-mental and rude until finally someone must have called him on it and so begins an argument between him and "random woman" at therapy group meeting. They're going back and forth, back and forth as rude, married, conservative guy is slinging insults left and right. Next thing you know, a guy with a Garfield tie (yes, Garfield) finally stands up to the antagonizing married dude. Antagonizing married dude stands up, aggressively and says to his wife (who we now see as being submissive and quiet), "Forget this! I'm waiting in the car. Come out when you're done!" He storms out of the room and everybody seems to exhale a sigh of relief.

The camera goes back to the guy with the Garfield tie and he's rubbing his face with his tie, but we also see that he's wiping his tears. Next thing you know, he asks? "Anybody want to hear a joke?" And everybody says yes at the same time. The guy goes into a joke about Garfield (a joke that he tells wrong, mind you) and surprisingly, everybody in the room breaks into laughter. And then it hit me . . . everybody in the room was in some strange way, a form of myself.

I'm going to have to stop eating blueberries before I go to bed. Or maybe I just had a psychological breakthrough. Who knows? Lol

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Day-Trip Vacation

So me and my (I want to call him my man-friend because he's way too old to be considered a "boy" but "man-friend" just sounds I dunno . . . weird and I hate saying "Significant Other") boyfriend went on vacation. Actually, he was on vacation from work and I just tagged along because I have not been picking up hours at my job. Call it laziness, depression, whatever . . . I just plan to work as little as humanly possible. Anywho, (despite my manual labor avoidance) we both had other obligations and couldn't really LEAVE leave, so we decided to do a series of day trips. We decided to sight see, taking on 3 major cities. So day one would be Philadelphi-yay and the next day would be D.C.-eezy and then last, but not least New Yawk, New Yaaaaawk where we would stay overnight and then head back home.

Day 1 - Philadel-phi-yeezy

It was nice seeing the sights, particularly the Princess Diana exhibit at the Constitution Center. I didn't expect to be so touched by this exhibit but I was. After this, we checked out the building where the Constitution was signed (which I found particularly interesting, especially after having watched a show on the Fourth of July called, "Secrets of Our Founding Fathers" which discussed the founder's sexual exploits, secret meetings, and one thing I really enjoyed-because I'm obnoxious-was the part about how bad it must have smelled in the room where the constitution was signed because all of the doors and windows were closed, meaning no light and fresh air in the summertime before the invention of toothpaste or arm deoderant and to top it all off, while wearing heavy clothing and having to do a whole lot of talking.) My man-friend and I exchanged knowing glances when we stepped into the room that-granted was over a hundred years old-we still thought smelled a little funkay.
Highlight of this tour . . .
We enter into the room and my boyfriend says - "So this is what Benjamin Franklin's ass smells like."
**Dead*** LOL
After all of this we ate at Buddakhan where the food was aight, but the dessert was spectacular. In the future, I'd just go for the dessert and some coffee.

Day 2 - D.C. Baby!

D.C. was great. I checked out the Newseum, which I wasn't thrilled about at first because I work in media, but it turned out to be exceptionally cool. Took pictures of the big penis and Capital Hill and the White House. Also, as I child, I used to have an obsession with all things "spy" so we went to the Spy Museum gift shop and I picked up a "shock-inflicting," lie detector test, some handcuffs and a game of mind-trap. That lie detector test is too much!!! After taking it home, I found out (or my boyfriend found out) it doesn't matter what you say, you're getting shocked. Oh, we also ate at a French Restaurant called Bistro Francais. The food was okay for the price. We happened to catch a good deal where you can order the app, entree, dessert and wine for just $25! :-0 Oh yes, $25. It was all good in D.C. baby!
Highlight of tour . . .
Okay, so I am probably going to piss a lot of people off for this, but I'm going to keep it real. Every time I think of D.C. I think of the high rate of sexually transmitted diseases. Casualty of working in news, you can't help but to remember every shocking statistic. So while driving along, me and my boyfriend would pick out the people who we assumed had an STD and the whole game started with this one comment . . .

Boyfriend: (We're both checking out a girl in a revealing outfit) She's got a nice body. (Pause and then shakes his head) you know she's got something!
Again ***Dead!!! LOL***

Day 3 & 4 - New Yeezy

So day 3, we went to New York and checked out Wicked. It was pretty good; very funny. We went sight-seeing, shopped and grabbed a bite to eat. It sucks that I have the least to say about New York, but . . . I do. It's a wonderful city, it truly is but there's so much going on that it all just blends into one big event.
Highlight of "tour". . .
We ate at Sylvia's and the food was AWESOME!!! The way the shortribs just fell off the fork, the macaroni and cheese and good lord the corn bread! (falls out onto floor) Okay, I'm done!

So my experiences were really good overall and I am happy that we decided to do a series of day-trips. It was a great way to experience attractions and touristy places that I've taken for granted because of my location. I hope to do this again in a couple months and I will put up some pictures on this post once I get home.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Sex, Religion and Life

I looove the church lady skits. That was back when SNL used to be funny. "Well isn't that special?"

So like I mentioned before, I'm doing the "church lady" thing (well, not to the Dana Carvey extreme. Just trying to follow certain moral codes and go to church and do good deeds and stuff) and per usual I started stressing myself the fluck out. And what do I do when I overwhelm my brain with schizophrenic insanity? I skip out on my responsibilities, over indulge and find ways to release tension. So, I skipped bible study night on Thursday (for work purposes), went to a transvestite bar with some of my colleagues after work, drunk too much (only 2 drinks, what can I say? I'm a lightweight), woke up late yesterday, had a lazy day and had mind blowing sex with my boyfriend and then slept for hours and had the worst, Christian guilt nightmare complete with violence, and Satan and darkness and me flying to China (not Japan, China) . . .
literally flying around at night, like Peter Pan. I've always found Peter Pan slightly creepy to begin with, I really don't know why. (shrugs)

Anyways, it was a minor setback after being celibate all of this year except for 2 other set backs soooo what are you going to do? (And to my defense, I did not know it was tranny night at that bar until the transvetite got up on the mini make-shift stage, swung her weave around, did a split and bulged her eyes at me . . . LOL.) But I am the first to admit that I don't always do things by the book and that I'm far from perfect. I also try not to judge people because at the end of the day, I'm selfish and don't really care enough about other people to judge them (unless they do something terrible to a defenseless person or animal, then I judge away).
Anywho, I've always seen religion and spirituality as a continuous, personal effort. So I just gotta get back in the driver's seat and play by the rules that I have made a personal decision to follow.

Moving right along. A month ago, I reconnected with an old friend via facebook. I found out that he works right down the street from where I live so naturally we decided to do happy hour after he met up with a client.

Now to give you some back story on my friend . . . I met him my freshman year of college and his "super" senior year. He's the son of a minister (or preacher, pastor, whatever . . . one of those) was a jokester and a pervert (never hit on me, though) and he was always a very blunt individual. Always cracking jokes on people and just plain saying some ignant 'ish sometimes, but that kind of stuff didn't really phase me (because I never took him seriously) so we always got along swimmingly.

Anywho, we met up a couple times and at one point he brought me a dozen roses, which was a little frustrating to me because we'd planned to meet up (or at least I thought) to discuss an idea that I had. He was supposed to be helping me out with it, but apparently he wanted to be all googly-eyed even after I told him that I was seeing and was in love with someone. I thought we were on the same page, but a dozen roses doesn't exactly spell "business meeting" lol. However, on the "date" he never made any romantic gestures and he even mentioned his sexual encounters with other women so I made nothing of the floral arrangement/elephant in the room.

Fast forward to last week, we meet up and get into the worst argument about what else? Religion. For years I told him that I don't discuss religion because . . . I just don't. Politics and religion are 2 things that I don't get into with other people (outside of my boyfriend and mother). He's always known that and has always wanted me to be more "confident" (as he put it) in discussing my beliefs. The last time we met up, he said that he was impressed because I'd told him that I go to service every week and plan on getting baptized one day . . . which is waaaay more than I've ever said like ever!! I really don't discuss ANYTHING concerning religion (even when it comes to superficial things, like where I go to church), so I guess he thought the floodgates were open and starts talking garbage. He starts saying dumb 'ish about what (he thought) I believed and tried to switch up and say he believed the same thing even though we are on opposite ends of the religion spectrum. I told him that we don't believe the same thing which is okay in my book, let's just sing Kumbaya and call it a day. Of course, couldn't leave it at that and begins asking me a bunch of loaded yes or no, "riddle me this batman" questions and I answered them all (because I'm fair like that). And when I ask him ONE yes or no question, he dances around it like Muhammad Ali.

Me: Yes or no?
Him: Wait a minute, lemme answer. What I think is that at the end of the day we . . .
Me: That's not a yes or no answer.
Him: Wait, but if you let me finish, I'll answer the question. (stalls for time) You won't let me finish . . . (long pause)
Me: You can answer the question with one word. Yes or No.
Him: (Pause) Lemme explain for a minute. (Commences with long-winded spiel)

Unfortunately, while he spoke, swallowed, took breaths in between and spoke some more about why we both agree on hell and damnation, I watched his lips move and proceeded to get pissed . . . the hell . . . off. I absolutely HATE when people are not fair in debate. It doesn't matter what the debate is. It's a deal breaker for me. At the end of the night, I told him that he must have thought I was an idiot and he can carry on his conversation with someone stupid enough to listen to his one-sided dumb ass opinion. In hindsight, I think he was trying to convince me that we both believed the same thing because he wanted to become one big happy couple with me and was hoping to get the silly ole different religion "problem" out the way early. Which to me was retarded because #1 - It never mattered what he believed in the first dang place and #2 - I'm already seeing someone. So then after all this, he writes a letter attempting to explain it all and even mentioning the feelings he's been harboring for me all this time.

I really don't know why I wrote this long, drawn out story. I guess I still find it confusing. How do you reconnect with someone, bring up something they don't want to discuss, make an attempt to convince them of something that you know is illogical and then after pissing them off, profess your love for them when you know they are in a relationship? At the end of that long day, I apologized to my old friend for flying off the handle (imagine that? lol), and I crawled into my big warm bed and fell asleep in my boyfriend's arms. That interaction made me really appreciate him a little bit more.

I also remembered why I never liked to talk about religion with people. It never ends well.

Oh and a little tip for you guys (not that there's any guys reading this) . . . if you are interested in a girl, do not argue with her. You may win the argument, but you still always end up the loser that goes home and crawls into a cold, empty bed . . . alone.

Ima let yall marinate on that for a minute. Peace!

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Clean Up Woman

I finally cleaned up my apartment. My dog was so freaking happy it made me feel bad for letting the apartment get so bad in the first dang place. To my credit, I had a lot of stuff going on and a lot of stuff to unpack. I decided that I wouldn't be moving into my dream townhouse, so it's back to the drawing board.

I took my first ceramics class yesterday and I guess it really got my artistic bug going, so I have been taking the time out to organize my place so that I can paint some pictures and really spruce things up around here. I can't wait to get to work creating art for people to buy. The ceramic pieces at the studio where I took my class last night were so elaborate and beautiful, it was very intimidating to see how talented these people were to create some of these works of art. I brought my "luvah" and he was so impressed that he took a bid on one of the pieces (and it wasn't cheap, yall - that's how good these pieces of art were). Let's just say we were in awe. Hopefully, I will be able to get to that level of talent in the future. We'll see! I love my class, though, and can't wait for next Monday so that I can get the hang of working the clay on the potter's wheel and all that stuff . . . even though my teacher didn't Patick Swayze me :-( Maybe next time! lol

Friday, October 2, 2009

Letters to Everyone

This started out as a letter to God, but after a while some other folks jumped into my mind. But please feel free to read, you might have a little sumthin in here addressed to you!

Dear Jesus . . .
First things first, can you pass this onto God for me? Thank you! Anywho . . . Going to church lately and sometimes I just want to scoop my eyeballs out with a spoon. Let's face it, sometimes it's hard being around the "holier than thou" crowd. Question: Can't I just get by with a mustard seed of faith? . . . Okay, I'll take the lightning strike as a no. But seriously, sometimes I wonder why I even bother. Not because of the doctrine, but mainly because I'm so weird. Maybe I don't fit in so well. And sometimes, let's face it, sometimes religion can feel like . . . I dunno . . . work. *Sigh* (Sorry God, it's not you . . . it's them. lol) I'm hangin in there!

With Much Love and Respect,

p.s. Amen!

Dear Whoever Cares if I Leave the Country,
I checked my email today and will be interviewing locally for the job in Japan next month. Feeling very excited about it, but really pressed to get 'ish done. The interview requires that I get a ton of references and with my discreet nature it will be an interesting thing to do. I don't want everybody all up in my business, and it will especially be hard for me if I don't get the job. I'm kind of hoping to leave in a very PLATOW! I'M GONE BITCHEZZZ!!! kind of way. And the only way to do that is to leave without anyone knowing that I was planning on doing this in the first place sooo . . . we'll see how this works out. Either way, I love the idea of just being like . .

Me: So yeah, I'm moving

Unsuspecting Person: Oh really? Where?

Me (brick serious face): Japan

Unsuspected Person: (laughs) Yeah, right!

Me: (said in ghetto, angry black woman manner) What? A sistah can't live in Japan?! Why I can't live in Japan?!

Unsuspected Person: ???

I need to be able to do that. The whole trip to Japan will be ruined if I can't do that just once. But we'll see! The interview is November 14th.


Dear Irony,
Me and my dog made friends with a little boy that just moved into the neighborhood. It was the cutest thing. The boy looked to be about 10 years old and he was just dying to play fetch with the little guy, so I gave him the baseball and let him throw it around for a while. It was adorable and the boy had quite an arm on him. I told him he should think about playing baseball, but he's strictly a football kid. It was kind of awkward on my end, because the kid was kind of quiet but I hope to see him around more. My dog could use someone with a little more energy than I can offer and besides, I need practice with kids. I mean, if I can't communicate with kids who speak the same language as me, I don't stand a chance with the little brats over in Japan, lol.


Dear David Letterman Show Audience,
Why the HAYEL were yall clapping and cheering once David finally reveals the "creepy" and "terrible" thing he did as cheating on his wife with women he works with. Maybe I missed the humor in that. (shrugs)


Dear Stephanie from Breathing Up the Oxygen,
Thank you for always commenting on my blogs. You always remind me that there is someone out there reading my stuff and it is much appreciated. I have a friend out in Texas that I plan on visiting one day and I have absolutely no clue where she lives in Texas (and Texas, from what I hear, is a pretty big state) so if she's anywhere near you, I plan on letting you know and we can get ice cream or something. And I promise, I'm not psycho and I won't try to kill you or anything!

Thanks Again!

Dear Blogosphere,
Yall need to get up on this blog! I should have like a million followers by now. Because, I don't know if you know this but . . .



Dear Doggy,
Everytime I look at you, I feel guilty for making an attempt to break out of the country. Especially last night when you were barking and running in your little puppy dreams. I wonder what you are dreaming about. Anyway, please forgive me. I do love you!

Bark, Bark!

. . . that's all I got for now folks! Peeeeeace!!!