Watch This!!!

Please watch the trailer for my new comedy web series!  It's funny, delightful and stars two very talented ladies.

Enjoy!

Buy Me an Amazon Kindle . . . Pleeease!!!

I have had a great couple of weeks, despite all of the busy-ness and stress. I say this because when you're telling a bunch of people that you plan on leaving the country, that's when everybody gets all sentimental and nostalgic. People have been scheduling appointments with me like I'm the hottest hairstylist in town. My calendar is filled with all of my best friend's names. Saturday I saw a bunch of my friends together at the same time (how about them apples), Tuesday dinner with Shalanda, Wednesday happy hour with Tameka, Friday with Sheryl and so on and so forth. It's like an unending parade of my favorite people. I have to start telling everyone I'm leaving the country more often, lol.

One thing that kind of sucks, though, is that I just ruined my surprise Bon Voyage party. Actually, the man-friend did. He planned a week vacation without checking in with the party committee and everything was planned on the same day and my mom had to confess to me why I just couldn't leave for Florida on April 24th. That kind of sucked, because I love surprises and have never really gotten a chance to actually experience one for myself. :-(

What it all boils down to, though, is that I need an Amazon Kindle in my life. I just need it! I'm tired of looking over the shoulder of the guy on the train. I want one for myself. But money is tight right now so all I can do is just dream (and continue to drop serious hints).

Time to email this video to friends and family! Toodle-Loo!

Bag n' Tag . . . I'm It!!!

So now that the workaholic marathon month is over and I finally have a few minutes to myself, I have decided to get to this Bag n Tag that my deary RebelMel tagged me for like a million years ago. So without further ado this . . .

. . . is my bag!

And this here . . .

is what's inside of my bag.

Allow me to take you on a tour here.

First of all, this is my "churchy" bag. I mainly take this bag with me to church, but have been taking it to work over the past couple months because I've been too busy to switch things out. Also, I needed some of that bible literature to stop me from punching people in the face. Sooo

#1 - There's my bible (inside of a plastic zip lock bag) and a daily scripture book

#2 - Some highlighters and pens

#3 - A little makeup bag that I got from my grandmom's garage almost twenty years ago. Actually, I think it's like a man's mini shaving kit bag, but I use it to hold makeup in.

#4 - A little notebook

#5 - A change purse with chinese design all over it

#6 - A ponytail holder

#7 - Two receipts - one for a leather jacket I got at "Daffy's" for $90 and the other for a pair of shades that I bought yesterday for $13.99

#8 - Some index cards

#9 - Another notebook (looove those black and white composition books)

#10 - Yet, another notebook (this one grey)

#11 - Some colorful bookmark tabs

#12 - A credential from an event I worked almost 2 years ago.

#13 - A red pencil sharpener

#14 - A small pack of Altoids (the curiously strong mint!)

#15 - A french tip manicure set (I guess, just in case I decide to do my nails on the train?? *shrugs*)

#16 - Some lotion

#17 - Seven cents

#18 - A pair of tweezers

#19 - A makeup pencil, some lipgloss and a small mirror that I received as a gift for being someone's bridesmaid (and never the bride . . . long sigh!)

#20 - A little bag of tissue

#21 - A camera

Are you really still reading? Wow! Well, okay . . . then, here's another bag for you to peruse. This is more of a casual bag for me. The straps have gotten worn, so I don't use it as much. But here are the contents.

#1 - Some passport pictures that I took a couple months ago.

#2 - $1.21 (Where the *expletive* was all of this change when I got that $72 ticket for not putting another quarter in the meter???)

#3 - Contact case

#4 - My old cell phone

#5 - Trash

#6 - Two packs of matches (just in case I decide to start smoking??? *more shrugs*)

#7 - My registration

#8 - A tampon and a pad

#9 - My checkbook (wish it was the manfriend's checkbook :-)

#10 - Yet another white nail polish, french tip manicure pen. (And my nails are needing that touch up right now . . . maybe it's a sign)

#11 - A pack of cards

#12 - Two lipglosses (that are very old and have probably dried out), some eyeshadow, an eyeshadow brush and an eyeliner pencil

#13 - A pencil sharpener

#14 - A pen and a highlighter

#15 - A small, silver hair clip

And I think that about completes that bag.

Now last, but certainly not least there's the small "I'm-in-a-rush-and-don't-feel-like-carrying-everything-in-the-whole-world-so-let-me-just-grab-this-and-bounce" bag.

And here are the contents . . .

#1 - Being that I carried this bag today, my wallet is in there. (The wallet is the only thing that switches out of each bag)

#2 - Two highlighters of course (I'm beginning to realize that I do a lot of highlighting)

#3 - A pen

#4 - $1.79 in change. (Again, where was all of this freaking change coming from after I've already racked up those stupid parking tickets???!!!)

#5 - A train ticket

#6 - A button that I've been telling myself I would sew back onto my outfit (and now I forget what outfit it came bursting off of)

#7 - Lipstick, two mascara things (one for thickness the other for length), two eyeshadow things, an eyebrow brush and some eyebrow shader stuff.

#8 - My gym swipe keychain

#9 - Lip balm

#10 - Altoids

#11 - A paperclip and two hair clips

#12 - A business card from a local designer

#13 - A coupon card for a local coffee shop

All righty then. I think that's all I got. Now I know I'm supposed to tag someone to do this, but I'm not choosey. I want to see what's in EVERYBODY'S bag . . . so all 10 of my followers are tagged. And I'm even tagging you lurkers who refuse to follow me! (I can seeee youuuu!!!) If you are reading this and want to dump out your bag . . . do it!!! I am sooo nosey and would love to see the goodies that you guys carry around on a regular basis. That is all. Hope this wasn't too boring for yall.

Peace!

My Own Language

Now I don't know if this is true of anyone else, but one thing I've always noticed is that if I am around someone (anyone) long enough, we begin to develop our own language. I mean to the point where I can have a whole conversation with someone and no one else will know what the heck I am talking about except that one person. Maybe it's because I grew up as half of a twin-set and you know what they say about twins making up their own language. (Even though with my sister, we didn't exactly make up a language. We just transmitted thought signals. LOL - but seriously . . . we did).

Anyway, since I feel free to say whatever I want to say on my little piece of the blogosphere, I thought I'd share some of the "words" and "secret references" from a few of the languages I have created with friends, family and colleagues over the years.

"Daisy" - (pronounced Day-zee) - mainly, a girl who has no clue that her boyfriend is a freak (bisexual, sexual deviant, whorish or just a plain ole fashioned cheater.)

ex: So I saw Jonathan the other day, hugged up with Daisy.

"Shabadoo" - (pronounced Shah-Bah-Doo) - carry on, continue.

"Conducting a business meeting" - going to the bathroom.

ex: Hold my calls, I'm conducting a business meeting in a couple minutes.

"Taking a call on line 1" - Peeing

"Taking a call on line 2" - Pooping

"The deal went through" - Give the bathroom about 15 minutes.

ex: The merger was a success. The deal went through.

"Peanut butter and jelly" - Great, awesome, wonderful.

ex: That shirt is PB&J!

"Purple Stuff" - a drink of any kind, specifically your favorite drink.

ex: I'm going to get some purple stuff. You want anything?

"Kappa Nu" - any group of people who belong to an elevated professional status, usually getting their job through "butt-kissing," nepotism or some other equally dishonorable avenue.

ex: I'm not a member of Kappa Nu, I'll kick your mother-(expletive) (expletive)!

(This expression was coined one day when a particularly angry man-friend was telling me about his stupid coworkers. He turns me on when he goes into his "hood" rants.)

Well, I'm going to have to cut this short so I can enjoy some ice cream and watch some movies. Keep it classy Sandiego!

My New Favorite Commercial

and . . . he's (cough, cough) kind of (cough) cute too! lol

My future Ex boyfriends

You ever look at somebody and think, "I would sooo be in a relationship with you, but I KNOW it would probably be complicated as all hell." Or look at someone and just imagine it working out. I think about these kinds of things all of the time, especially when it comes to certain celebrities. I think about who it could work with and who it just wouldn't and what my level of desperation would allow me to take before I quit (or get dumped). Here's a little peek into the happenings in my head.

Oh, Lenny. *Sigh* Lenny, Lenny, Lenny. I'm in love with you. But I just don't think it's working out. I mean the sex is out of this world. You're so passionate and wild. The parties, the yoga and meditating sessions afterward. They're great . . . but you're just a bit . . . . I dunno, too moody for my tastes. I mean, when I made that breakfast for you yesterday I didn't know you were a vegan. I didn't put butter on your toast to mess with your . . . what did you call it? . . . your essence. I was just trying to hook up your eating experience. Coming home and catching that girl in your bed was definitely not "even Steven" okay? That was just not cool. Oh, and the tatooing me in my sleep? No . . . no, it was not funny. I just don't . . . no, listen . . . I just don't think it's going to work. Maybe we can hook up once a month for a little . . . I dunno, butt naked monopoly or something. Just stop grabbing my . . . okay, well . . . since you're not going to stop, I'll oblige . . . . but just this once! No, no . . . I'll get the Ambien.

For real Maxwell?! After all of these years you end it with "It's not me, it's you"? "It's not me, it's you"?!? Don't you have that backwards? . . . It's supposed to be, "it's not YOU, it's ME." . . . . No, you don't? That's what you meant to say? Wow. Okay! Um, can I get all of my pillows back then? Why do you insist on taking all of my throw pillows anyway? You know what? Whatever dude, just send me my . . . stop throwing those pillows at me! Stop it! You really need to grow up! Oh hell . . . it's on now! PILLOW FIIIIGHT!!! . . . . take that! . . . . Oh shoot! Did I hurt you? Wait, lemme . . . stop holding your eye . . . lemme just look at it. No, lemme just . . . okay fine. Fine! I'm leaving. You're so freaking sensitive, god!

Harry. You need some flavor in your life, dude. I can see it in your eyes that you're down with the swirl. Let's make it happen brotha! We would be glorious together. And you love jazz too. I don't know how to play the piano but we can definitely make music together. (Disclaimer: Yes, I know he's happily married with children but this is my fantasy you know!) I totally see it working out with me and Harry Connick Junior. For some odd reason, I just do.

And last but certainly not least. I don't care how crazy this man may or may not be . . . I would stick it out to the bitter bitter end.

Boris . . . Boris!!! Boris, please baby, please! Please Boris, baby . . . pleeeeeaaase! Puh puh puh leeeze (sob, sob) Please (sniffle, sniffle) Please! Just, just give me a chance baby! I'll be so good to you just . . . . Boris! Where are you going?! BORIS!!! . . . . damn!

I can't even fantasize about him because even in my fantasies, I come on too strong and it always seems to scare him away. One day I'll be able to have a decent fantasy about this guy.

When I asked my man-friend what women he would love to get with, but knows it just wouldn't work out, he named . . . .

He says that she would probably be too high maintenance. I agree, lol.

I recall him saying that he thinks he could make this little lady happy.

That's Chante Moore (for those of you not up on 1990's era R&B). He met her once, and says they really hit it off. With his charm and all around great personality, maybe it coulda worked. But he's stuck with me now so GNAAH! (Sorry to be obnoxious, but that's just how I roll-plus, he's reading this so I have to tease him a little.)

That's all I got. I'm sure I fantasize about some more folks, but I can't think of any at the time. Who do you think would be "ex" worthy? Who do you think you could "make it work" with?

Wedding #2

Not a soap box rant. I repeat, not a soap box rant!

We are advertis'd by our loving friends.

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

So I went to another wedding. This time as a bridesmaid. My sorority sister (who also happens to be one of my best friends) got married two days ago and let me tell you this wedding was completely different from the first wedding I mentioned a couple months ago.

Let's just say that I didn't spend the whole night trying to help the videographer interview guests (lol, who does that?) so that I wouldn't have to sit at my own table full of married couples who wanted to know when I - the only one without a date - would be getting married. Instead, I was actually able to enjoy myself. I got to wear the sexiest, most glamorous bridesmaid dress. Oh, and my favorite part . . . my besty made sure to seat me, and another one of our sisters who happened to be flying solo that night, at a table full of handsome, single guys. We both had the biggest, cheesiest smiles on our faces all night.

Now THAT is how you treat your single friends at a wedding. :-)

I'm still a little giddy!