Pre Flight Panic and the 3 Big Bon Voyages

For the last two weeks before I was to board an airplane and spend the next 12 months of my life in a foreign country, things got real. And by "real" I mean, real stressful. As you know, the manfriend lost his job, there was a whole lot of family drama going on and to top it all off, I was not feeling the support from friends and family that I expected.

Sunday, May 9th

Well, let me start this out on a positive note. I DID get a whole lot of support from my Christian family at church. All I know is that I showed up to service on one of the last weeks before my big party and someone handed me an envelope with about 200 dollars in it. As me and the man friend say, "I was hah-peee!" They treated me to dinner and there was lots of laughing and joking (because my congregation is hilarious) and my best friend (one of the biggest sinners I know) was there, and was able to see why I decided to dedicate my life to God. She mentioned that from seeing the kind of support and love that everyone shares, she can't help but to want to be a part of that. Well, hallelujah to that!

(So let me back it up again) Despite the support from my wonderful christian congregation, I had way to many "friends" asking me when I was planning to throw my own going away party. Okay, (Cher voice from Clueless) . . . "as if!" Who does that?!? At first I actually considered gathering a few of my friends together (considering that my family's "surprise" bon voyage party was being planned by one of my cousins who wouldn't have a clue about who my friends are). But then I remembered that I had to purchase a year's supply of . . . I dunno . . . EVERYTHING as well as cancel about a million and one subscriptions and automatic payments, pay off my car, close out several accounts, order Japanese yen and somehow fit a vacation into the mix. So yeah, that wasn't going to happen and after a while, it started irritating me when I would tell certain friends that I was planning on leaving and they would say something along the lines of "well, let's do something before you go. Give me a call, set something up, and I'll be there." It makes me irritated to think of it now and I've been living in Japan for 3 weeks already.

Friday, May 7th

So long story short, my closest friend and sorority sister came through and planned a small get together that was supposed to be for me and the other 3 girls on our line (5 of us all together). And surprisingly, 2 of the girls were missing which was kind of ironic because they were the main ones leading the "we should all get together - and you should plan it" brigade. Of course, they both had a weak excuse for not showing up, but I didn't care because I was so happy to be able to get some support from the 2 that did and it was also nice to be able to take a load off and have some girl talk (which resulted in the "Let's Talk About Sex" blog post that I did before I disappeared off the face of the got-dang planet.)

So the next day, I had my family get together. Now there was some drama with that because the 2 big matriarchs of my family was feuding and it put some serious pressure on me. At one point I even cancelled the whole thing because I felt like no one was going to show up. (Isn't that jacked up . . . to cancel your own "surprise party") Long story short, at the end of the day, the whole freaking family showed up and I had a WONDERFUL time. The manfriend video-taped the whole event and although there was still some weirdness coming from the two "main components" of my family, there were so many people and there was so much food and so much support that I forgot all about it and all I felt was happiness and appreciation for everyone and everything. It was a freaking love fest. So after that, my bon voyage felt right.

May 14th

So the day of the big flight, I packed with my best friend until 3am in the morning. At 3:30, the manfriend drove me to the airport where I met up with my dad, mom, sister and niece. I was a little sad because I didn't get to say goodbye to my dog a little longer (shutup!) but when it was time for my flight to take off, the manfriend surprised me and told me that he would be taking the flight with me to San Francisco and that was why the dog had to go with his "grandmom" for the night. It was a lovely surprise and I really appreciated it. It was also a little awkward because I know that my mom and the manfriend must have planned that together (and also, I know that my dad and his new wife don't approve of the manfriend - so for my dad to be witnessing this "manfriend/mom collabo" must have been a little weird). Either way, it was an emotional goodbye and it still gets me a little misty eyed to think of the way my mother looked at me after I hugged her and let go so that I could walk away. *Tear - Lip quiver*

*Oh, and I didn't end up getting the Amazon Kindle. Because of all the support I received from my congregation, friends and family (and also because the Amazon Kindle isn't very foreign country friendly) I got the Ipad instead! And I absolutely love the thing!!!

So at the end of the day, one thing is for sure, if you ever want to know who really cares about you, and I mean REALLY cares . . . move to a foreign country. Everyone that you see in those last few days, weeks, minutes are the people who care. The people who hand you a card, or even a picture of you and them . . . those are the people who care. People who try to find out if there's any little thing they can do to help . . . or better yet, the people who don't ask at all and just help you . . . those are the people who care. The people who call you out of the blue just to tell you that they love you and will indeed miss the hell out of you and make sure that you know you are appreciated . . . those are the people who really matter. Bottom line, I had NO IDEA that I had so many people who cared about me, BUT I also didn't know how many "extra" friends I can now delete from my life. Leaving the states was a very sobering experience. I didn't expect it to be this deep.

Well, that's all I got for now.

100 Posts and Seriously Wondering What the Future Holds

So yeah, this is officially my 100th post and uh . . . I'm still alive. You may think I'm saying this because my blogging has been quite sporadic lately but that's not it. I'm saying this because I'm a survivor. Allow me to catch you up.

First things first, the man-friend lost his job. Yes. You read right. He lost his job the day before we went on our vacation. I would get into the details, but it was for a stupid reason and the management at his job are insecure, spineless, incompetent, dickwads that have been making really bad decisions that have lead to a lot of people being cut from that department (in the worst way) over the past year. Another thing, the manfriend makes literally about 3 times as much as I do (which translates to a whole lotta money) and it's going to be interesting seeing where this situation goes.

Second of all, we went on vacation and had to digest this information the whole time we were away. It was interesting the different transitions we went through, especially considering that we knew when we got back (Thursday) we were going to have only 2 weeks before I head off to Japan. So there was sadness, anger, more anger, numbness, confusion, laughter and later on, acceptance. We made the most of the trip and have been diving into the job hunt thing with high hopes and a whole lot of prayers.

So what this all boils down to is this . . . when I get back from Japan next year, (God-willing) the man-friend and pup will have started a new life somewhere without me. Can you imagine? I will be overseas, while my little family is picking up and moving and making all kinds of decisions that I can't be a part of. *Sigh* Life is crazy.

Either way, I am hoping for the best because the man-friend is the last person who deserves to be fired or looking for a job. He's always been that guy. You know? The "go to" guy who stays at work late emailing everyone to let them know what's going on, learning equipment and taking the initiative to create things while everyone else has long gone home and went to bed. He comes up with creative ideas (despite the fact that he doesn't get any credit for them) and has been respectful and personable to everyone in every department for the 17 years that he's been employed with the place . . . yes, 17 years. There have been times when he's gone to work and stayed so late that he comes back the next day and I've literally had to fix him a plate and drive it to the job for him. No one else has taken these kinds of initiatives and to tell you the truth, there's a teensy weensy part of me that is a little happy that he's gone from that place. Maybe this means that he will finally start looking into some management positions (something I have been pushing him to do for a while now, anyway).

One of the biggest arguments and problems that I've always had with the man-friend is his tendency to procrastinate and/or stay in a situation that is in desperate need of an upgrade. He just gets comfortable and won't budge, despite my aggressive nudging and hinting. To his credit I can be a super emotional, overly suspicious, cynical, paranoid, pain in the butt . . . BUT, I am still a female and my "wimmin's intuition" is rarely off target. So I'd been giving the old man hints that he should upgrade to another job for over a year now, and I think this kind of shows that I wasn't so crazy after-all. Either way, this wasn't the way I wished it would happen, but I guess it was necessary to whatever major change was meant to take place in our lives.

So enough of that . . . I have about 12 days left before I am on an airplane flying over the Pacific Ocean. It's been a little overwhelming lately with all of the parties and people wanting to meet up. Unfortunately, with all of the phone calls and "let's get together before you go" invitations, I have gotten just 3 donations to my ChipIn account to buy an Amazon Kindle (and one of them kind of doesn't count because it's from the man-friend). It's a little disappointing considering the many gifts and favors that I've given to friends over the years. I talked to my ex boyfriend this morning and he made a really good point. He says that I've done favors for people and given gifts, but that people don't appreciate it because they don't know the monetary value of what I've done. For example, I've provided services (on several occasions) for my friends that otherwise would have cost them thousands of dollars. My ex was saying that if I'd have provided an actual invoice that said, $2,500 (or whatever) that people would get a better idea of how much money they've saved or how much work was put into a project. I totally get what he was saying and agree with him, but at the end of the day I have just been blown away at the fact that it is taking this long for people to give . . . what? . . . $5 to my account after I've jumped at the opportunity to contribute to any major milestones in their lives. Also, I've always been proactive about helping my friends out, whereas I haven't received not one phone call asking if there is anything they can do/help me with. Am I taking this too far? Maybe I'm expecting too much. The man-friend has always said that I'm a really good friend and I go the extra mile for people but I always assumed that this was something that my friends would be willing to do for me in return. Guess I was wrong. (Insert sad face and womp, womp, wooomp sound effect).

Either way, I am gearing up to go to Japan and am quite sure that this will be the furthest thing from my mind when I arrive. I will be running around doing all kinds of stuff and will probably be missing my family, the man-friend and these same self-centered, inconsiderate friends that I've been moaning and complaining about in this post. Right now I am doing my best to spend as much time as possible with my doggy's daddy before I go (which isn't too hard because we have a lot more time to spend together now that he's unemployed . . . cue the laugh track). Oh, and highlight to our vacation (which was at Disney World by the way), one of the characters sees me and the man-friend walking arm and arm and says, "You guys look like a happy couple. I bet you're celebrating something!" and the man-friend says without missing a beat . . .

"We're celebrating the fact that I just got fired from my job!"

And then we just burst out laughing as the poor guy stood there looking at us with confusion. Needless to say, we have been curbing the stress of the situation by exercising our morbid sense of humor and actually, it's been effective.

So things are insane right now, but for some odd reason I believe they are going to get better. I hope they are going to get better.

And since when did Brian McKnight get a late night talk show? (Yes, I know that was mad random but his talk show is mad random. It's like, where the heck did it come from? I never even saw a commercial for it. Okay, I really need to go to bed, LOL)

Goodnight Brian McKnight. Goodnight everybody!