My future Ex boyfriends

You ever look at somebody and think, "I would sooo be in a relationship with you, but I KNOW it would probably be complicated as all hell." Or look at someone and just imagine it working out. I think about these kinds of things all of the time, especially when it comes to certain celebrities. I think about who it could work with and who it just wouldn't and what my level of desperation would allow me to take before I quit (or get dumped). Here's a little peek into the happenings in my head.

Oh, Lenny. *Sigh* Lenny, Lenny, Lenny. I'm in love with you. But I just don't think it's working out. I mean the sex is out of this world. You're so passionate and wild. The parties, the yoga and meditating sessions afterward. They're great . . . but you're just a bit . . . . I dunno, too moody for my tastes. I mean, when I made that breakfast for you yesterday I didn't know you were a vegan. I didn't put butter on your toast to mess with your . . . what did you call it? . . . your essence. I was just trying to hook up your eating experience. Coming home and catching that girl in your bed was definitely not "even Steven" okay? That was just not cool. Oh, and the tatooing me in my sleep? No . . . no, it was not funny. I just don't . . . no, listen . . . I just don't think it's going to work. Maybe we can hook up once a month for a little . . . I dunno, butt naked monopoly or something. Just stop grabbing my . . . okay, well . . . since you're not going to stop, I'll oblige . . . . but just this once! No, no . . . I'll get the Ambien.

For real Maxwell?! After all of these years you end it with "It's not me, it's you"? "It's not me, it's you"?!? Don't you have that backwards? . . . It's supposed to be, "it's not YOU, it's ME." . . . . No, you don't? That's what you meant to say? Wow. Okay! Um, can I get all of my pillows back then? Why do you insist on taking all of my throw pillows anyway? You know what? Whatever dude, just send me my . . . stop throwing those pillows at me! Stop it! You really need to grow up! Oh hell . . . it's on now! PILLOW FIIIIGHT!!! . . . . take that! . . . . Oh shoot! Did I hurt you? Wait, lemme . . . stop holding your eye . . . lemme just look at it. No, lemme just . . . okay fine. Fine! I'm leaving. You're so freaking sensitive, god!

Harry. You need some flavor in your life, dude. I can see it in your eyes that you're down with the swirl. Let's make it happen brotha! We would be glorious together. And you love jazz too. I don't know how to play the piano but we can definitely make music together. (Disclaimer: Yes, I know he's happily married with children but this is my fantasy you know!) I totally see it working out with me and Harry Connick Junior. For some odd reason, I just do.

And last but certainly not least. I don't care how crazy this man may or may not be . . . I would stick it out to the bitter bitter end.

Boris . . . Boris!!! Boris, please baby, please! Please Boris, baby . . . pleeeeeaaase! Puh puh puh leeeze (sob, sob) Please (sniffle, sniffle) Please! Just, just give me a chance baby! I'll be so good to you just . . . . Boris! Where are you going?! BORIS!!! . . . . damn!

I can't even fantasize about him because even in my fantasies, I come on too strong and it always seems to scare him away. One day I'll be able to have a decent fantasy about this guy.

When I asked my man-friend what women he would love to get with, but knows it just wouldn't work out, he named . . . .

He says that she would probably be too high maintenance. I agree, lol.

I recall him saying that he thinks he could make this little lady happy.

That's Chante Moore (for those of you not up on 1990's era R&B). He met her once, and says they really hit it off. With his charm and all around great personality, maybe it coulda worked. But he's stuck with me now so GNAAH! (Sorry to be obnoxious, but that's just how I roll-plus, he's reading this so I have to tease him a little.)

That's all I got. I'm sure I fantasize about some more folks, but I can't think of any at the time. Who do you think would be "ex" worthy? Who do you think you could "make it work" with?