Sex, Religion and Life

I looove the church lady skits. That was back when SNL used to be funny. "Well isn't that special?"


So like I mentioned before, I'm doing the "church lady" thing (well, not to the Dana Carvey extreme. Just trying to follow certain moral codes and go to church and do good deeds and stuff) and per usual I started stressing myself the fluck out. And what do I do when I overwhelm my brain with schizophrenic insanity? I skip out on my responsibilities, over indulge and find ways to release tension. So, I skipped bible study night on Thursday (for work purposes), went to a transvestite bar with some of my colleagues after work, drunk too much (only 2 drinks, what can I say? I'm a lightweight), woke up late yesterday, had a lazy day and had mind blowing sex with my boyfriend and then slept for hours and had the worst, Christian guilt nightmare complete with violence, and Satan and darkness and me flying to China (not Japan, China) . . .
literally flying around at night, like Peter Pan. I've always found Peter Pan slightly creepy to begin with, I really don't know why. (shrugs)


Anyways, it was a minor setback after being celibate all of this year except for 2 other set backs soooo what are you going to do? (And to my defense, I did not know it was tranny night at that bar until the transvetite got up on the mini make-shift stage, swung her weave around, did a split and bulged her eyes at me . . . LOL.) But I am the first to admit that I don't always do things by the book and that I'm far from perfect. I also try not to judge people because at the end of the day, I'm selfish and don't really care enough about other people to judge them (unless they do something terrible to a defenseless person or animal, then I judge away).

Anywho, I've always seen religion and spirituality as a continuous, personal effort. So I just gotta get back in the driver's seat and play by the rules that I have made a personal decision to follow.

Moving right along. A month ago, I reconnected with an old friend via facebook. I found out that he works right down the street from where I live so naturally we decided to do happy hour after he met up with a client.

Now to give you some back story on my friend . . . I met him my freshman year of college and his "super" senior year. He's the son of a minister (or preacher, pastor, whatever . . . one of those) was a jokester and a pervert (never hit on me, though) and he was always a very blunt individual. Always cracking jokes on people and just plain saying some ignant 'ish sometimes, but that kind of stuff didn't really phase me (because I never took him seriously) so we always got along swimmingly.

Anywho, we met up a couple times and at one point he brought me a dozen roses, which was a little frustrating to me because we'd planned to meet up (or at least I thought) to discuss an idea that I had. He was supposed to be helping me out with it, but apparently he wanted to be all googly-eyed even after I told him that I was seeing and was in love with someone. I thought we were on the same page, but a dozen roses doesn't exactly spell "business meeting" lol. However, on the "date" he never made any romantic gestures and he even mentioned his sexual encounters with other women so I made nothing of the floral arrangement/elephant in the room.

Fast forward to last week, we meet up and get into the worst argument about what else? Religion. For years I told him that I don't discuss religion because . . . I just don't. Politics and religion are 2 things that I don't get into with other people (outside of my boyfriend and mother). He's always known that and has always wanted me to be more "confident" (as he put it) in discussing my beliefs. The last time we met up, he said that he was impressed because I'd told him that I go to service every week and plan on getting baptized one day . . . which is waaaay more than I've ever said like ever!! I really don't discuss ANYTHING concerning religion (even when it comes to superficial things, like where I go to church), so I guess he thought the floodgates were open and starts talking garbage. He starts saying dumb 'ish about what (he thought) I believed and tried to switch up and say he believed the same thing even though we are on opposite ends of the religion spectrum. I told him that we don't believe the same thing which is okay in my book, let's just sing Kumbaya and call it a day. Of course, couldn't leave it at that and begins asking me a bunch of loaded yes or no, "riddle me this batman" questions and I answered them all (because I'm fair like that). And when I ask him ONE yes or no question, he dances around it like Muhammad Ali.

Me: Yes or no?
Him: Wait a minute, lemme answer. What I think is that at the end of the day we . . .
Me: That's not a yes or no answer.
Him: Wait, but if you let me finish, I'll answer the question. (stalls for time) You won't let me finish . . . (long pause)
Me: You can answer the question with one word. Yes or No.
Him: (Pause) Lemme explain for a minute. (Commences with long-winded spiel)

Unfortunately, while he spoke, swallowed, took breaths in between and spoke some more about why we both agree on hell and damnation, I watched his lips move and proceeded to get pissed . . . the hell . . . off. I absolutely HATE when people are not fair in debate. It doesn't matter what the debate is. It's a deal breaker for me. At the end of the night, I told him that he must have thought I was an idiot and he can carry on his conversation with someone stupid enough to listen to his one-sided dumb ass opinion. In hindsight, I think he was trying to convince me that we both believed the same thing because he wanted to become one big happy couple with me and was hoping to get the silly ole different religion "problem" out the way early. Which to me was retarded because #1 - It never mattered what he believed in the first dang place and #2 - I'm already seeing someone. So then after all this, he writes a letter attempting to explain it all and even mentioning the feelings he's been harboring for me all this time.

I really don't know why I wrote this long, drawn out story. I guess I still find it confusing. How do you reconnect with someone, bring up something they don't want to discuss, make an attempt to convince them of something that you know is illogical and then after pissing them off, profess your love for them when you know they are in a relationship? At the end of that long day, I apologized to my old friend for flying off the handle (imagine that? lol), and I crawled into my big warm bed and fell asleep in my boyfriend's arms. That interaction made me really appreciate him a little bit more.

I also remembered why I never liked to talk about religion with people. It never ends well.

Oh and a little tip for you guys (not that there's any guys reading this) . . . if you are interested in a girl, do not argue with her. You may win the argument, but you still always end up the loser that goes home and crawls into a cold, empty bed . . . alone.

Ima let yall marinate on that for a minute. Peace!