When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned.
Uh . . . right, so I went to a bridal shower the other day and this lead to a lot of reflecting on my part. First of all, I asked myself how many bridal showers I've ever attended in my life. For some odd reason I was able to recall several bridal showers, but couldn't remember where the bridal shower was, what gift I bought, and how I knew the lucky bride and groom. And then it hit me, that's because all of the bridal showers I remembered were on TLC's A Wedding Story or WE TV's Bridezillas. So in reality, I've been to nada, goose eggs, absolutely none, zero bridal showers ever, except for the ones that I've seen on TV. Which goes to show you that TV infiltrates my life so much so that I've adopted other people's families, experiences and ceremonies as my own. Wow.
After making this observation, I was lead to another. I've been to a whole lotta baby showers. I've hosted them, helped to plan them, I've bought gifts, created games, given speeches, I've even baked a home-made pie for someone's baby shower. So what's up with that?
Here's what's up with that. Unfortunately, the folks nearest and dearest to me aren't fans of the bonds of marital unions. So there I was sitting at someone's bridal shower, laughing at the silly games, trying to understand the gift bow hat, and catching up with some of my sorority sisters and I couldn't help but count the number of illegitimate babies I've helped to plan baby showers for.
Who cares? We're living in new times. Things have changed. It's no longer a big deal to have children out of wedlock, let's get over ourselves. Um, sorry, but no. People care. I myself am *ahem* a love child, born at a rather . . . (let's see, how do I say this?) unexpected time and I can honestly say that when the question of parenting comes up in conversation I've been asked if my parents were married. I used to just say, "no," nonchalantly because I didn't know I was being judged, but now I usually follow it up with, "so yes, I am indeed a bastard child if that's what you're asking." I do this so that the person can feel especially awkward.*
I remember one person followed her question up with "do you and your sisters have the same father?" She looked confused as the steam and fire shot through the top of my head. (And for the record, I have 4 sisters, 2 brothers, 1 hermaphrodite sibling and a cat and we all have different fathers AND mothers and we live on the front porch of my grandmother's trailer.)
All jokes aside sitting at this bridal shower, in someone's huge finished basement, surrounded by three generations of lovely women allowed me a glance into the future of my family. Women who will take "the plunge" and jump the broom. Women who will go beyond the act of making children and actually legitimize the little craps too so the poor things don't have to defend their lovechild-ness to people who just don't get it. (Bitter much?) The next couple months will be filled with me helping to plan my twin sister's wedding shower. Let's hope this is a fad that sticks.
*People are jerks, by nature, so sometimes you gotta call attention to their a$$hole-ness.
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