Make Something Up and Circulate It In a Memo

Soap Box Rant #129

Passionate hatreds can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. These people haunted by the purposelessness of their lives try to find a new content not only by dedicating themselves to a holy cause but also by nursing a fanatical grievance. A mass movement offers them unlimited opportunies for battle.

-Eric Hoffer

I used to think that those who claimed others took delight in their failure was a selfish and narcissistic assumption.  The concept of someone "hating" just for the sake of hate itself was funny and catchy, but not realistic to me.  I got bored with the endless array of songs about haters, and "you can hate me now," and "you hate my success don't you."  It sounds like the excuse for every "bad experience" a sociopathic person has in life.  They all want to be meeeee!!!  Yeah, okay, I'd think to myself.  Get a grip already.

My thinking stemmed from my nerdy schoolyard days.  You know, when you got harassed by the cool guys and teased by the pretty girls.  When you'd get home from school, glasses broken, pants on backwards (don't ask) and your mom would say something like, You know they're only teasing because they're jealous of you? or Some people are just hateful that way.  They can't sleep at night unless they know they caused someone trouble.  Cheah, okay Mom, I thought to myself Nobody in their right mind would be jealous of me or Ain't nobody thinking bout me.  But you know what?  Fast forward a few years, moms was really onto something!

The year is 2009 A.D. and I am fabulous.  

I have grown accustomed to my fabulousness.  I have had the privilege of living in this beautiful shell of a body everyday for almost a decade and have gotten used to the attention it receives.  And when I open my mouth and common sense, wit, and intelligence pours out it is hard for those around me not to feel threatened.  It's like a sonic blast going off.  Little do they know that intelligence and character was something I was forced to work hard at, due to my years of nerd-domness and making friends the old fashioned way.  Now that I am fabulous, however, I am finding myself in the same position as before.  

BOTH women AND men want to see me fail.  They crave it.  And I'm not even the first Black President.  How 'bout them apples?  It's crazy.  People will drop statements and attempt to trap me in a corner.  Coming up to me with some ole' "riddle me this batman" type shit, or asking me questions about my personal life as if I'm really going to spill my heart out.  It amuses me and saddens me at the same time.

I work two days a week-sometimes more-(and oddly, I make enough money during those 2 days to support myself, my dog and my expenses comfortably).  But one law in my life is not to tell "work" people about my "personal" life.  (I do freelance work outside of this part time job.)  So I guess this prompts a lot of curiosity and criticism from my coworkers as to how I get by financially.  For example, I get the question "what have you been doing lately?" or "have you found any work outside of this?" often asked with the pouty face, like I've already failed.  Although they look like they care, I can feel that they really want me to say, Oooh, I'm doing terrible!  Just terrible.  Yesterday I ate catfood and today I went dumpster diving!  Do you have any spare change?

I know that they want me to say this because there was a guy at my job who didn't know how to handle his finances.  He wasn't working the side hustle like me so when they asked him "how he was doing" with a pat on the back and the pouty face, this guy says "Oooh, terrible! Just terrible . . ." (He's since been let go) and THEY LOVE THIS GUY.  They ate him alive.  They still talk about how pathetic his life is.  How he had problems.  How he's crazy.  How if they were him they'd do this or do that.  How he's such a loser, so on and so forth.  If he were food, they would throw him back up so they could eat him again.

Bottom line, people loooove to see or hear about someone doing bad.  They absolutely eat that shit up.

Somebody I don't even talk to came up to me at work the other day and asked me, "Sooo, you and your boyfriend still together?"  Wait, what?  Excuse me.  Wooow!  LOL  It's like that now?  Damn!  I wanted to give him the 3 F's.  (F-you, F-off, and go F yourself) but I decided that would sound incriminating, so I said, "Everything's fine, thank you."  (Actually, we were no longer together, but before my coworkers found out about him, I was labeled as "a man hater").

So on top of the thinly veiled, nosey ass, foul questions I get the brain teasers.  After making the mistake of exclaiming how excited I was about the new Disney Princess movie featuring a Black character I noticed the girl at work asking me strange questions in a sad attempt to expose me as a Black militant.  This heffer asks me which was worst, slavery or the holocaust?  Both were bad, I said.  Later she asked, Do you think this is the perfect time for Black people to rise up and take over?  

What the . . . ?  I had to turn and look at her.  I told her, No, this is the time for poor people to rise up and take over.

And of course, she asked me if I was getting enough hours at work.  I swear!  You can't win wit folk.

And it's always the nerdy people too, which is a disappointment for me.  When I was a nerd, I was so busy trying to get mine that I didn't have time to worry about anyone else.  I always had my head in a book or was hustling a job or two. (Kind of like now).  If anything, when I saw someone that looked like they were doing the darn thing, (like yours truly) I admired and congratulated that.  Rather than questioned and criticized.  I guess boredom is a biotch these days.

So for everyone that wants to see me fail, listen close.  YOU WILL NEVER GET THAT SATISFACTION.  I don't care how much mind chess you attempt to play with me, you will not break me so help me God.  I am not going to say something silly or come to work and spill my business.  Whatever you want to know about me, you can make up and circulate in an office memo.

'Cause Moms ain't raise no fool!