Six Degrees of Time-share Presentation

Well, I just got back from kicking it mad hard with Mickey Mouse in Orlando for a whole week. The only thing I had to do was sit through one of those time share presentation things and say "no" about half a million times. After several days of picture taking and train rides through the land of automated robots, my friend and I attended the dreaded presentation early in the morning. I equipped myself with some coffee and sunglasses and immediately told my friend that he would be in charge of thinking and speaking. My brain was closed for business. (And boy was it obvious.) The receptionist asked me what hotel I stayed at twice within a 45 second increment and I couldn't tell her both times. I can only imagine how hookerish I must've sounded!

So anywho, our time-share salesman joins us at our little table and commences with the pitch. He kind of looked like a cracked out Kevin Bacon. Small, skinny, real jittery and car salesman-ish, and of course overly polite. Oh and he just looked rough, I don't know how to describe it, it's like a requirement for salesman to look like they spent the night in jail or something. I felt a little sorry for him, because my friend played the part of the "bad cop" and I, of course tried to be the good cop (but like I said, my brain was fried.) So the only thing I could do was smile at his bad jokes, and nod my head as if I cared what the heck he was talking about. At one point he says, "My family moved a lot when I was a kid. But we lived in this area on an Air force base in -blankety blank- Florida."

"Oh, so that makes you an army brat," I responded. (I'll give ya'll a minute to think about that one.)

So while Kevin Bacon attempted to sell us a time share, my mind attempted to stay with him. Until he messed up and said, "unpeccable." UN-PECCABLE. Like, the timing was unpeccable. That was it. Way too much for my feeble brain to bear. The floodgates were open and my imagination went on a trip.

Hahahaha!!!! Did he just say un-peccable? I wonder if "G" (my guy friend) caught that. Un-peccable. What a douche! No, no. Stop that! That's not nice, Arnetta! Maybe he's had a hard life. Maybe nobody ever told him that the word is impeccable. Hehe. I wonder if he says that during every presentation. Un-peccable. Hilarious. I wonder what this guy's home life is like. He looks like a smoker, I could totally see him smoking a cigarette on his lunch break. He probably cheats on his wife with prostitutes and tells her that he's at work selling time share presentations. Unpeccable.

Yes, I'll blame this mind ramble on my lack of sleep. Anywho, it reminded me of all of the words in life I've gotten wrong or jacked up before being corrected. And then wondered how many times I said it before someone had the decency to correct me. So in honor of the cracked out Kevin Bacon who tried to sell me and my friend a time share, I'll list my words.

Facade - pronounced fuh'sahd. How did I pronounce it for gosh, how long? Fuh-Kade. LOL. Also, for years I would say Shurprise, rather than Surprise. (But that was because I was a cute little kid, who didn't know any better.) Also, while playing softball I would often hear my teammates cheering the girl at bat with "Good Eye!" Stupid me, thought they were saying "Good Day" with their best British accents. And what did I say in return? "Thank you! Good day to you too!"

And with that "Good Eye to you all!" Have a wonderful Thursday!!!