Randomness

"I'm good enough.  I'm smart enough and doggone it!  People like me!"

Stuart Smalley "Daily Affirmations"

I will be moving in a couple of months.  I've decided to room with one of my best friends.  We're the ultimate odd couple (he's much older than me) but what can I say, we work. The new place is a townhouse and it's NIIIIICE!!!  3 floors, washer and dryer, 2 and a half bathrooms and Good God a dishwasher!!!  (Ms. Green drops to her knees) A wonderful, beautiful dishwasher thank you Lord!!!  To say I'm excited is an understatement.  I can't wait for October!  The place has a private movie theater that I can rent out, so once I'm in, you're all invited!!!  (All of Ms. Green's imaginary friends cheer, YAAAY!!!) The move was spurred by my sudden bout of the flu . . . again.  This is my third time getting sick within a four month period and I'm beginning to think it's my crappy apartment.  The place is on the bottom floor of my building, there is not much light or ventilation and it's always dank and musty.  It's gross.  And when I turn on the air conditioner, my throat dries out so much that I can barely breathe at times.  Even my dog sniffles and snortles when he's here.  Poor thing has to endure the place more than I do.  Granted the rent is dirt cheap, I don't want to pay for it with my life.  I have been unhappy with this place since I moved in.  (Ms. Green begins rocking back and forth in her chair like Ms. Sophia in The Color Purple.) The last time I spoke with someone from management, I was signing a lease.  Since then, they've been unavailable.  Unavailable when I was dealing with a termite issue and also while dealing with my kitchen sink overflowing with some strange black water.  It was like a horror movie.  Okay, don't want to think about that, moving right along.

I'm on Facebook.  I told myself I would never do it again, but I have been peer pressured by my brain to do it.  "It's a great way to keep in touch with your distant relatives-especially since the funeral."  "You need to network, whether you like it or not."  "It's good for future employers to see that you have good social skills."  So I signed into my dusty old account (from like 4 years ago, when I was a senior in college) and started accepting people/requesting friendships and what's the first thing I do.  Start to look at people's pages and pick myself apart for not being social enough, or taking enough pictures of myself at parties, bars, clubs and/or overseas in other countries.  I start kicking myself for not quoting scriptures from the bible or from Marilyn Monroe.  I kick myself for being such a private, insecure person who doesn't volunteer at homeless shelters (anymore) and who doesn't feel comfortable putting her information on the internet so she puts a picture up of her dog instead.  I'm trying to do this facebook thing 100% but I'on know man!  Maybe facebook is not for me.  Maybe it's anti-me.  I feel comfortable putting certain things out about myself on here, but that's because it's anonymous, but facebook . . . that's pictures man.  A whole nother story.  I just gotta remember that I'm on my own path, not someone else's.  But sometimes I think that's the main reason I need to shut down my account.  I don't need any distractions, excuses or pity parties for myself.  I'd rather be in my own world, just imagining that the average person is in my shoes.  Looking for a better job, procrastinating, getting sick from breathing in musty, basement air . . . rather than turning on my computer to see that everyone around me is living it up, working "real" jobs, buying homes, getting married, quoting Voltaire and traveling to different countries only to party in clubs and sip margaritas all the time.  That kind of stuff motivates the average person, but in my case, it just depresses the shit out of me.  (Opens fridge - Anybody want some of my haterade, I'm about to drink the rest?  Okay, suit yourselves!)  Oh, but let me finish by saying that although it doesn't seem like it, I am very proud of my friends and their successes, I just know that I can't be truly happy for them until I am truly happy for myself.

With that said, last bit of randomness.  Someone gave me a lead on a job in the media department of a major corporation.  To get that job would be wunderbar!  I'm also trying for a job in another department of the company I currently work for.  I want desperately to get away from my current boss.  She's a real piece of work!  Okay, I gotta go to bed now, it's very late.  Goodnite!