Saturday, April 7, 2012

Instant Therapy

So I've been going to work everyday and this means that I have to be amongst other humans and learn new things.  This is not bad, because if left to my own devices, I would probably only be around the same 11 or 12 people for the rest of my life, eventually retreating to my one room shack to live a very "unabomber-ish" lifestyle.  So yeah, it's healthy - I'll admit it.

However, it's really interesting how much I've picked up on in the past couple of weeks.  It's like I'm catching back up with life and getting a glimpse of the interesting goings-ons.  One of my best friends says that I have a funny way of seeing things.  She's calls it "Arnetta-cam" and says that when she has strange experiences, she always wishes I was there to do the commentary.  Fortunately for me, I do my own commentary and I can always go back to some of my favorite episodes in life and laugh about the situation or just ponder and eventually, dump my ideas out on this blog.  So here are a few Arnetta-isms that I picked up on after being out of the confines of my home for so many months.

#1 - It's Good To Be Out
No seriously, it's good.  It's great for my health because I'm not constantly eating and sitting around my apartment.  All this time I was wondering how I managed to gain so much weight and now that I go to work every day, I'm realizing how many calories I've been taking in over the past couple months without doing so much as getting off my couch.  And even though I've been working out like a maniac, eating very light and then going to work where I'm constantly standing and squatting and walking and running, I'm still losing weight at the rate of 11b. a week.  So . . . yeah, that's doesn't feel awesome, but it's good to finally see how much work it's going to take for me to change my bad habits and start actually dropping some weight.  It's good for morale because the weather is getting sunny and I am actually going outside (even if it is for a twenty minute car ride) and this gives me incentive to leave my house more.  (Confessions of a hermit crab).

#2 - People are Freaking Crazy
Yeah, that's something I totally forgot.  Now, of course, there are the people who are just flat out looney tunes.  You know, the ones that talk to themselves, yell for no reason and walk around with a foil hat.  Those folks don't catch me off guard too much.  They're normal . . . you know . . . in their craziness.  But I'm not talking about those folks.  I'm talking about the people that need an instant leather couch. For example, I work at a doctor's office.  Folks walk into the office and fill out some information before the doctor examines them.  Now I've done this thousands of times in my life time.  Go to the doctor, fill out a form, get seen, go home.  But for some odd reason, most of these people are shocked beyond belief that they have to fill out any paperwork.  I apologize and tell them that it's part of procedure.  This is what I call skimming off the first layer of crazy.  Because who goes to a doctor without filling out a form that at least lists their allergies, the insurance they'll be using and I don't know . . . their NAME?  So after I skim this first layer of crazy off, most people just sit down and fill out their paperwork.  But then come the surprise folks who have an underlying layer of crazy and decide that this is the moment to break free from the confines of society.  For example, one lady said "No! I refuse to fill out this form."  She looked at me with bold defiance.  I stared back at her with confusion.  Lady!  What are you trying to prove? I guess it just cracks me up because as Americans we have to take it up the pooper all the time when it comes to ridiculous laws and inequalities that disenfranchise the majority of middle and lower class Americans and this is beside the usual crappiness of life on this planet.  So why in the world would someone use filling out a form at a doctor's office as a moment to "not take it anymore."  Either way, my manager (a tall, white guy) came out while the crazy lady was having her moment and said, "Just fill it out."  And she suddenly jumped to attention and became a law-abiding citizen.  I was relieved, amused and a little offended.  Maybe it was just me, but I had already apologized to the woman for the inconvenience, explained that it was procedure and was trying to be as professional as possible but when the manager (in essence, some dude that just came out of nowhere) told her, in an exhausted tone, "Just do it!" suddenly it all came together for her - and "Ohhh! just fill this out?  Yes, of course, sir!" LOL, get outta here!  Sometimes, it sucks to be a Black woman.  I swear I'd get more respect if I was a white man.

#3 - Getting a Paycheck is a Good Feeling
But waiting for it every two weeks . . . sucks.  LOL  But it beats getting one once a month like in Japan.  Talk about budgeting - sheesh!


All right, I'm exhausted.  Wish I had more, but I'm sweepy.  Goodnite!

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