Saturday, December 5, 2009

Things Most People Don't Know Bout Me

Yes, yes . . . it's all about me isn't tit? Of course it's all about me, this is MY blog. Either way, here are some things about me that I'll reveal for gits and shiggles. I am a very private person and on top of this, I blog anonymously so I might as well spill some beans somewhere, right? Here goes . . .

Me and my "man" friend break out into random beat boxing and dancing . . . well, actually he does the beat boxing and I do the dancing.

I do a lot of dancing. I wake up in the morning dancing and dance before I go to bed. My specialty is a pop-locking routine and a sexy stripper looking dance (which the man friend goes crazy for . . . and he looks like such a perv watching me, lol, it's gross really)

Nobody knows I am in a relationship.

My dog pees like a girl and sometimes . . . I am ashamed for him.

I don't cook very often. (Yeah, I'm a real catch!)

I laugh at my own jokes and think that I am hilarious!!!

When I am alone, I talk to myself. Usually criticism for something I said or did (recently or in the distant past) that was really stupid. One time a coworker caught me doing this and asked me, "Are you okay?" LOL (I'm definitely going to be one of those old people who gets "Old Timers Disease" and lives in the past, ala homegirl on Batteries Not Included)

I would like to be more adventurous in my choice of clothing. Not that I want to dress trashy, but I'd like to be a little more cutting edge. I wear a lot of sweaters, jeans and scarves and although I look cute, I look . . . safe.

I know a lot about the bible and believe that it is the word of God. But nobody knows this. Sometimes I want to quote scriptures to people - when something poignant pops into my mind - but I don't want to sound/seem all self-righteous-y. Especially since you would think, with all of my insight, that I'd follow the "good book" a little closer.

I am that "friend" that everybody loves to claim . . . but I rarely get invited to things and sometimes I wonder if I should take this personal. :-( Then I remember that it's because I have a sucky work schedule and this manages to make me feel a little better. :-)

I am obsessed with (and love) how I smell . . . everywhere (you get my drift, lol) I have dozens of good smelling body washes and lotions and I also force every guy that I am in a relationship with to smell my toes. They usually don't mind, because I am very good smelling, but there was one guy who liked to peel my toenails off and he would sometimes do this with his teeth. *Creeped out yet?*

I have a slight lisp that is only evident when my mouth is dry. This is because I have a slight overbite because I sucked my thumb until I was 8 years old. I still blame my mother for not stopping me and hope to get braces one day (even though I think it would look really funny at my age). I envy people with perfect teeth.

I am poor. lol

My vision sucks. The optometrist says that I am legally half blind. But I wear contacts most of the time, so nobody knows.

I make a lot of jokes, but DO NOT like being taken lightly. Not being taken seriously is one of my biggest pet peeves and the reason why I have a tendency to distance myself from people at times. It's also the reason I do not dismiss other people. I think it's one of the worst things you can do to another person.

I have an obsession with my boobies. I love squeezing them because they're squishy and fun.

All right. Guess I'm done! Now I officially can't share this site with friends and family.

6 comments:

  1. Thanks for the insight...I'm really confused about the toe nail biting? LOL Either way, fun post!

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  2. There's nothing to be confused about Steph. The man was crazy. I'm just glad I survived to tell the story, lol. I'm also glad you enjoyed the post!

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  3. We may have been separated at birth! I read through this post, and I kept LOL from sheer discomfort and embarrassment! I am YOU!

    From my obsession with smelling good EVERYWHERE, to my infatuation with my boobs (I don't know anyone with real, large, squishy, perky boobs,like mine! I appreciate them cause they are great!), to doing the robot to make my bfriend laugh! And on, and on, and on...

    It's like you've been peeking in my window!

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  4. @Islandbaby - I knew there was a reason I loved your blog. We're kindred spirits. Every time I squeeze my boobs I'll think of you. LOL

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  5. Very interesting stuff, but the toenail-biting? UGH!!!

    I hope I'm not out-of-bounds asking this, but here it goes: if a WOMAN is fascinated with her smell and body, why is a MAN deemed a pervert by being fascinated with a woman's smell and body?

    Just curious...

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  6. Bighead - You're not out of bounds. I can totally understand why a man would be fascinated with a woman's smell and body. Being inappropriate is what makes one a perv. Everything has a context, a place, a time. It would be offensive and/or disrespectful for me to talk about my body parts or smells to certain people or in certain places and the perverts have a hard time understanding this. That's pretty-much it in a nutshell.

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