First Post of the Year

Awwwww yeah Baby!!!! It's my official first post of the month/year/decade and guess what I'm going to write about? That's right, my New Years resolutions. Now of course, first I have to give the self righteous "I really don't do New Years resolutions and really just try to live my life the best I can each and every day, blah, blah, blah" disclaimer so I can feel better about myself and then we can get started, shalln't we?

1. Matching bra and panty sets errday - Oh yes! Errrrday. I haven't worn a set of underwear that matches since . . . . since . . . (crickets, crickets) . . . let's just say it's been a minute. Also, my manfriend is especially a fan of this resolution and has even pitched in by taking me straight to Victoria's Secret and hooking me up with some brasierres. This resolution was inspired by my need to buy bras (since I found out that all this time I'd been wearing a C cup when I was a double D cup. Did yall hear that? Throw some D's on that b****!) At the end of the day, I need to feel sexy and it's hard to do that when your panties can double as a hammock and your bra is one thread away from snapping and popping you in the eye. So out with the old, holy, tent-sized, pastel colored, grandma draws and no-lifting bras and in with the V-secret body contoured, sleek and smooth, sexeh-ladeh undies.

2. No swearing, no sexing - I am trying my hardest to have a swear-free, sex-free year. So far I have failed on the swear-free year, but the sex sabbatical might actually go down. Especially with me going off to Japan. My poor man-friend is probably not feeling this one (especially with my new undies) but it's something I have to do for spiritual purposes, ya know? He'll live. Funny thing is that at this very second, CNN is running a story on why it's important to have sex frequently. Guess I'll be losing out on those benefits this year . . . *sigh* . . . this will be a hard one (no pun intended). I'm really thinking about investing in an *ahem* . . . helper, if you know what I mean. We'll see how that works out. And that's all I have to say about that.

3. Lose Mad Weight - I am getting chubby. And I don't like it. My body has never been one where the pounds go straight to my booty or thighs. Instead they go straight to my gut and breasts and that is not a good look. So I'm trying to eat healthy and heck, maybe

I'll even walk the dog every once in a while too. That could work, right?

4. Change up the Ol' Blog - I need a new look for this place. Basically, when I started this blog I just picked one of the generic selections on Blogger and rolled with it. Found a picture with a soap box on it and rolled with that too. But I want to be creative and give my blog a more personal look, post more pictures within my posts and I'm also thinking about changing the name of my blog to something more personal. Any suggestions, observations or tips would be greatly appreciated (I know absolutely nothing about blog templates or photoshop).

5. Live in the moment - And I don't mean go sky-diving or have a threesome. It's just that I find myself reliving the past or overthinking the future a little more than the average humanoid. It's time for me to focus on what I'm doing, while I'm doing it and severely limit my daydreaming. My constant "mind driftings" are probably why I'm always late for everything, can be absentminded and have a tendency to misplace things. This is an important resolution for the kid.

6. TMI Thursday - (Blog related resolution) I need to be brave and utilize this anonymous blog for all it's worth. A great way to do this would be by alienating my readers with an embarrassing post and participating in a TMI every once in a while. Oooh, I'm getting anxious already. *shivers* But I gotsta get brave and do this at least once.

Well, now that that's out the way. We can get back to our regularly scheduled programming. (This time with a new look and a new name)