Day 2 of the Master Cleanse Diet and Some Other Stuff Too

Day 2 of the Master Cleanse diet. I had a little headache last night as well as this morning. Also, I've been getting some serious stomach cramps. Still, I drunk my laxative tea and will be drinking my lemonade soon. Fun! Oh, and before I move onto the next subject I really want to say that I'm not hungry, so much as craving certain foods. The lemonade is still tasty, but everything else just looks and smells sooo much tastier. Sidenote: 3 hours of my day yesterday was spent tutoring my former-coworker on some software while she snacked on Tostitos and complained about the spicy salsa and her ex-husband. I wanted to kill myself. Onto more interesting topics . . .

Life Gets Complicated

In order to supplement my (lousy) income, I am working (temporarily) on an award show and got the chance to talk on the phone with "Mr. Huxtable" himself. The great Bill Cosby (and no, he didn't ask me if I wanted any pudding pops, daaaw!) He was delightful, but his involvement in my work puts a whole lot of pressure on me to do a good job.

Since our phone conversation, I've been running around getting things done for a video package I am putting together for him and one of the people I have to interview for the package works at my regular job. So while talking to the woman about the interview, my old manager walks past. To give you some background on the manager, he played a very big part in giving me a chance to actually work at my job in the first place. The lady I was interviewing beckons the guy over and asks him why he didn't come over to speak to us. The manager stands motionless, looking at . . . scratch that . . . grilling me.

"I'm mad at Arnetta," he says with the icey cold stare that he always gives me. He's like the really mean dad that I never wanted. Of course, both me and the lady break into the "whyyyy?" chorus like 2 whining children.

"Because there's a (blank) job open and she didn't even apply for it. Never asked me about it. Nothing."

Then there's silence. He does an about face and walks away. Now I'm going to pause things right there and mention that I have not been able to move up at my current job for over 3 years. I have been at the same part-time, overnight, weekend job for the past 3 years. Let me repeat that . . . OVERNIGHT, WEEKEND . . . 3 YEARS (that should give you an idea of my social life). Any attempt that I've made to move up has been ignored or brushed off. It has been my all time dream to move to a specific position at my job and everyone knows it. People have been lobbying for 5 years to get me to that position with no luck. Now, the job is open.

Problem: I am moving to Japan in May.

The job that he is speaking about has been on the company website for a month. I knew about it, and it hurt my heart to know that it was open, but my mind was already set on Japan so I never even thought about applying. I put so many years of my life going after this position only to be laughed at and told that I would never get it (at such a big company). That it wasn't possible. I was told that I should move to a smaller job market and try working my way up elsewhere. And after years of hearing this, I decided to stop wasting my life working overnight/weekends while everyone around me was getting married, moving up in life, traveling around the world and working interesting jobs.

Either way, I am seriously considering putting my heart on the line (again) and applying for the job. After all of the people I told about my going to Japan . . . after all of the money I spent for passports, documents, and insurance policies . . . after hiring a travel agent . . . after SIGNING A CONTRACT, I am considering not going at all. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about all of the crow I'd have to eat and all of the things I'd have to sacrifice if I end up staying. Of course another problem would be regret. The position would require that I work odd hours (again) and it's still only part time. So while sitting at work on a Saturday morning, will I be kicking myself for not going to Japan?

Downside to Japan

If I take the job in Japan, would I be giving up on a goal that I took 5 years of my life trying to attain? Would all of those years have been for nothing? Would I be burning a bridge?

It all comes down to whether I apply for this job and get it. For all I know, I could just get turned down anyway.

Either way, I have a bunch of crap to sort out. Time to drop off this resume!

(Oh, and Steph over at Not the Oxygen featured my guest post on her blog today, so check it out. Her blog is great and I am honored to be a part of it :-)