Independent's Day

"Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and shut the frick up."

- Arnetta Green

Haaa! (Said obnoxiously loud). The quote doesn't go like that, as I'm sure you already know but that's how I feel most of the time. Want to know what really burns my cookies? (And yes, I say "burns my cookies" all the time. I got that from some cute little old lady, who was really angry at something-and I loved it, and I love her. So thank you cute little old lady!) So yeah, what burns my cookies is bossy people. I absolutely can't stand bossy people. It's been that way since the beginning of time.

I remember a loong looong time ago, I had to have been three or four years old. My twin sister and I (yes, I have a twin) were in daycare or pre-K (told you it was a while back). And there was this loud, little girl with crazy braids shooting up all over her head. After lunch, we were at recess and she was bossing me and my sister around. "Push me on the swing, help me get on the see-saw, pull me on the wagon." I don't know how it ended up happening, but I remember giving my twin sister the side eye once the little girl got into the wagon. We both pulled the wagon to the top of a hill and pushed, watching the little girl scream as the little red wagon careened to the bottom of the hill, landing in a pile of mud. (That is one creepy-ass story when I think about it. We were like those twins on "The Shining." lol) But yes, never liked bossy people. Even as a toddler.

It could just be my personal hangup. Most people don't mind following direction. But me? Absolutely not! Probably because I tend to be a magnet for dominating people (kindness for weakness syndrome). But it's mainly because I'm an artist, so there's a bit of an independent streak to my personality. To the detriment of the so called "leader" types, being this way has made me quite self sufficient which means there's not a lot of people who can say that they were a part of my successes. I can go into a corner and come out with a masterpiece if given time, space and freedom. The only time this is a problem is when I'm around some bossy ass nosey ass person, who needs someone to dominate. In my opinion, a real leader is born out of necessity and usually because people naturally start to follow them, not because they go around trying to recruit. So if there is no reason for me to exist, I exist to be contrary and annoying to people who think I'm subservient. Which makes me kind of an a-hole, lol.

So on the other end, I am far from a leader. People tend to not want to follow me. I don't know if I seem lost or "out of it." I just know that I never seem to be on the same page as the rest of the world, so people tend to be boggled by my ability to excel first, in school, and later on in my career. I used to be offended by that, but now I find it flattering and fun to surpass people's expectations. Well, she can't be that crazy, she seems to be doing sort of okay in her personal life. (LOL, Oh, yes, I can be that crazy!) And then only after people see that there's a method to my madness, everybody wants to join the team and jump on the bandwagon. That's when I say, sorry folks, there's only room for one passenger on this train wreck.

It's fun being me!

So, in conclusion, I guess if this world was divided into leaders and followers, I would have to check the box that says "independent" because I don't fit well into either one of those categories.

Operation Overhaul

In an attempt to salvage myself from regret and boredom, I have decided to attempt a complete overhaul on my life. Currently, I am working at a job where there is no room for growth . . . I believe dead end job is the phrase, right? So yeah, dead-end job, sucky hours, and only one goal under my belt. Which was to land this job in the first dang place. But now that I have it, after over 3 long years, I am feeling a bit ungrateful. So that means it's time to move on and leave this job to someone who's willing to settle and never be promoted.

So the big plan is this . . . ready? Within 6 months, I plan on starting afresh. I am open to pretty much anything but here's what I got on the list thus far . . .

Plan A:
Apply to teach English overseas in Japan. If chosen, the process takes 2 to 6 months. (I'm crossing my fingers, that if accepted, they take the maximum time of 6 months) So for the time being, I would bide out my time at my current job (for about 3, 4 months) and then move onto a seasonal job that I pick up every year - which would start in February and end in April. And then move on to teach the future of Japan. If I'm not chosen to teach Japanese youngins, I'd move onto plan B. Which is . . .

Plan B:
I would bide out my time at my current job, until the desired seasonal job comes in. After that contract ends, I would start selling personalized art. Sidenote: I'm a pretty artistic person (I mainly paint and sketch) and all of my friends and family (who I've done multiple portraits of) wonder why I don't just become a professional artist. Soooo, I'm currently taking some ceramics classes and plan to put their hunches to the test. I used to be scared of becoming a "starving artist" but when I think about it, I'd be just as much of a failure if I just sat here and let life pass me by.

Now the downside to Plan A is that I would have to leave my friends, family and most importantly my dog (and his human father) behind; which would break my heart. My dog is like my child and the thought of not having him with me eats at my innards. LOL, sorry had to laugh at how that sounds. But seriously, he's like my little sidekick. The only consolation I have is that I know he would be in good hands. Another downside would be going so far away from my family. There's a part of me that always worries about something terrible happening while I am away.

Now the downside to having to roll onto Plan B is that I wouldn't get to travel and have adventures in Japan. How awesome would it be to go overseas and get paid to experience a different country and work with Japanese Gerber faces? (Gerber faces = children in Arnetta speak) I grew up pretty poor and never really had the opportunity to travel. As a college student, I couldn't borrow from mom or dad to backpack around Europe and as an adult, I find myself lending out money here and there to help struggling relatives. So saving up 4 to 6,000 dollars for a trip has always been kind of a luxury.

So that's what's on the calendar. Feel free to add any suggestions people . . . I'm all ears.

Emotional Handicap

So I went out with one of my best friends today. It's restaurant week in the city of brotherly love, so we decided to try out a restaurant that we probably wouldn't be able to afford on any other night. The food was meh, nothing to write home about really, but the company was divine. We both got a chance to let loose and unload everything on our minds from our jobs, to our relationships, thoughts on religion, how much we masturbate (don't ask :-), everything. We talk about absolutely everything together (and agree on pretty much everything too).

So anywho, she was telling me that her boyfriend is extra sensitive, takes everything the wrong way and that they argue about everything, all the time. I was very disappointed to hear this and thought about a relationship that I had where I argued with a guy all the time. In that (VERY short lived) relationship, the guy was explaining to me that he was a jerk because both his parents were deceased. In other words he "didn't know how to love." And I remember trying to explain this to my mother, to which she responded with, "So? Let someone else take on that job." At the time, I thought she was being a little insensitive, but sitting there listening to my friend I wanted to say something along those same lines.

While talking to my friend, I started to notice that she was explaining away his behaviors with the "he had a rough childhood" excuse. I was telling her to be careful with that because she might be biting off more than she can chew and sometimes people don't need an "understanding girlfriend" they need a therapist. She agreed and understood, but while thinking about it later on, I had the strangest revelation. Ready?

Okay, choosing to be with someone with emotional problems is like dating someone with a physical handicap. Just like nobody goes into a relationship expecting to change the love of their life's diapers, and take care of them for the rest of their life, nobody wants to do that kind of stuff emotionally. But we do it without even realizing it because when it's an emotional handicap, it's not as "tangible." You're not touching, smelling, tasting someone's problems so they don't exist or they're not that bad.

"Oh, they had a rough childhood, they were an orphan, they grew up in a dumpster, etc." There's usually some horrible thing that happened in the past that has caused some unfortunate problem, but at the end of the day, that person is still handicapped and this is going to leave their partner in a tough situation. Do they sit there and become the person's caregiver/devoted partner, or do they find someone that's in good mental health in the first place? I know personally (and this is going to make me sound like an asshole) I never imagined that I'd settle down with someone who is morbidly obese, blind, wheelchair bound, siamese twin, etc. Now this is not to say that I won't in the future (you never know what direction life might take you-and you can't help who you fall in love with) but I know the mental picture in my head never looked that way. And I'm sure that if someone were to see a physical manifestation of the problems their loved one might be facing, they would turn the other way and run.

So at the end of the day, I see the same deal with us women folk. Someone who is the mental/emotional equivalent of a skinny, pale and blotchy skinned, wheelchair bound, paraplegic rolling toward us pulling an oxygen tank in one hand and holding an IV pole with the other is A-okay. And we'll explain it off to our friends like, "oh, well he got the leprosy when he was 3." Um, maybe you should leave the treatment to a professional? "No, he just needs someone who understands him."

I can even argue to say that being with someone with an emotional handicap is harder than dealing with someone with a physical handicap because at least a physical handicap is not as personal. It's just a barrier that stops the person from doing things in a conventional way. They have to overcome real barriers, not invisible ones. Whereas when someone has emotional issues, they have to overcome psychological barriers that you can't even see. And chances are, they're going to be taking shots at you while trying to overcome those imaginary barriers. Now that's work! I mean, a regular relationship is hard enough.

But more power to the people who decide to take that on. I wouldn't. Just my thoughts on things.

Ya Can't See It All

I'm bored so . . .

In school I took up Radio/TV/Film with a concentration on film directing and writing. I also come from a big TV and movie watching family. But despite all of these things, I'm pretty sure that I have missed out on quite a few films in my life. With the tons of movies that exist in the world, how would anyone (who has a life) be able to see everything. (LOL Can you tell that I'm getting defensive writing this?) So now I'm going to attempt to list a bunch of movies that I haven't seen that make people react with "You haven't SEEN that?!" when I tell them. Ready? Ok, here it goes . . . (Deep breath)

--------------------*Warning: contains some spoilers*-----------------

Movies I've Never Seen (that are considered classics that probably everyone else has seen).

ALIEN (Last time my family watched this, I was too young to get through it and I never revisited it since)

ALADDIN

ALMOST FAMOUS

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (All I know is that Jack Nicholson is in this . . . right?)

THE BOURNE IDENTITY, ULTIMATUM, SUPREMACY (always manage to fall asleep within 15 minutes of these movies)

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S (It's a classic I've never seen)

BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (Another classic I've never seen)

CAPE FEAR (Don't even know what it is)

CARLITO'S WAY

THE CRYING GAME (*spoiler alert* I just know that some lady turns out to be a dude)

FATAL ATTRACTION (I always manage to catch this movie in bits and pieces)

FIELD OF DREAMS (I feel like I get the gist of the movie, and because of that I have no desire to actually sit through it)

GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES (Never really watched a lot of Marilyn movies, but I'd like to)

THE GODFATHER PART II AND III (I heard Part 3 isn't worth a crap anyway)

GOOD FELLAS (I bet they're not really "good fellows" are they?)

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY (And I even named a post after this movie . . . don't judge me)

HARLEM NIGHTS

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE (Again, a movie seen in very small bits and pieces)

LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY (managed to see some of Part 2, but fell asleep)

A LIFE LESS ORDINARY (Don't know if this is a classic or anything. Just know I haven't seen it)

THE LOST BOYS

NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (Too young and impressionable to see it when it came out and don't care to see it now)

THE OMEN (Someone said it's still probably too scary for me)

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (Figured it's a classic that maybe I should see)

PREDATOR (Just not interested in seeing it)

PURPLE RAIN (I know, I know . . . I'm sorry!)

RESERVOIR DOGS

ROCKY (And did I mention I live in Philadelphia?)

SNAKES ON A PLANE (for this movie to be so wack, everybody I know has seen it)

THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (It pretty much always fades to black for me once "it" puts the lotion in the basket)

THE USUAL SUSPECTS (In my defense, I have tried to get through this movie several times but always fall asleep and wake up at the part where dude drops the coffee mug)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, I've fallen asleep through quite a few movies. I guess if I'm going to do a movie night, I will need lots of caffeine. One day maybe I'll see some of these classics, but for now I could stand to crack open a book or two.

All right. That's about all I got for now. Toodles!

A Very Strange Pattern I've Noticed

In my life, at any given time, I always manage to make spontaneous enemies out of a certain demographic. Ready to hear who I always manage to piss off for no reason? It's always short, middle-aged White women. Lol, I just don't get it. It has nothing to do with race (that I can tell), or height (on my end) or age (no discrimination over here), but I swear it never fails. It's like clockwork. No matter where I go, there is some short, middle-aged White woman that loves everybody else, but can't even look in my direction without rolling their eyes to the back of their head and heaving a long, deep sigh of disgust. It's hilarious, but a little strange. And, I swear, I don't do anything to cause it. (Innocent smile :-) I really don't, though, seriously. I'm a nice person and I don't dress crazy or anything. (Oh, and for the record, I'm tall, black and 26 years of age).

There have been plenty of these women in my history, but I'll just mention three. The first person I've ever noticed was this lady at my job who one day started giving me nasty stares. I didn't really know why (because I don't work directly with the lady and never had a conversation with her) so I assumed it was my imagination and kept it moving. But I've noticed, she literally has to prepare herself to walk past me down the hall . . . it's an interesting sight to see. And I've seen her hesitate on several occasions, sometimes turning around because it's just too much for her. (And I assure you, reader, I am a clean and hygienic person - why, I even took a shower this morning and brushed my teeth to boot!) She hates me with the fire of a thousand suns. In a weird, twisted sort of way, it kinda makes me warm inside. :-)

So then there was the lady on my company's softball team. She just flat out doesn't speak to me. I didn't know she had it out for me until the coach told me that she's been trying to get him to kick me off the team (or at least, not play me) since forever. Again, no clue as to what caused the sudden hate. I'm not the best player on the team but I'm definitely not the worst. At one point, the coach told me she asked him to play someone with an injury rather than me. Sucks for her, though, because everybody else gets to play with my cute puppy when I bring him to the softball games, while she has to sit alone looking stank. Don't feel sorry for her, she's only doing it to herself.

So in typical short, middle-aged, White lady fashion, my boss hates my guts. It doesn't shock me one bit. I am friendly to her, I stay out of her way, I even . . . no, that's about it. I just stay friendly and stay out of her way, because I know that every time she sees me she's going to chew me out for something real or imagined. Our first conversation started with an insult and our beautiful relationship has blossomed ever since. One of my coworkers warned me to stay out of her way the other day. "For some strange reason, I think she has it out for you" he said, with a perplexed look on his face. I guess he was confused as to why anybody would have it out for me (I'm one of the nicer people at my job). I couldn't explain it to him. Hell, I don't really understand it myself.

I just take it as a strange pattern in my life. Makes for an interesting post, though. Any short, middle-aged White women care to explain? :-)

Whyyyyyyy???!!!

Some days I work strange, late hours at a job where I'm allowed to watch TV. The only problem is that there's not a lot to watch late at night, say between 2am and 6am, but I always manage to find something to latch onto. So one day (a couple years ago) I discovered The Tonight Show. The discovery was subtle because I wouldn't really watch it. The channel would just happen to be on, and I'd absorb it.

So after a couple days of absorbing Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O'Brien shows up and absolutely blows Jay Leno out of the water. I was already familiar with Conan and welcomed the change. He had me at hello. Eventually, I became such a hardcore fan that I'd actually look forward to going to work so I could watch Conan.

So it would be Conan and then my favorite film critic show, Reel Talk with Jeffrey Lyons and Alison something.

Soooo, one day I get to work and turn on the tube and to my surprise The Tonight Show with Jay Leno is back. Eh, okay I thought to myself and gave ole Jay a try again. It took some time (I think his opening monologues could use some work) but after a while, I was hooked. Not like Conan hooked, but still hooked. "Jay-Walking," "Headlines" "99 Cent Store Shopping Spree" "Steve the Judgemental Bastard" "Ross the Intern". I looove me some Ross the Intern! His show was pretty good and after they shut down my Reel Talk and replaced it with a wine making show, I really relied on Jay to get me through my first hour of work.

Fast forward to July 2009. I've been watching my Jay Leno for about a year and then all of a sudden Jimmy Fallon shows up. I try to give this man a chance, but he's awkward, he's dry, he tries way too hard, he's uh . . . he just sucks. The man is not funny. The show is not funny.

But his band is baaaaad! (Shakes head) One of the greatest bands to ever grace a stage. His band is just so freaking wonderful.

The Roots

Why? Why Jimmy, did you have to associate such a great band with such a sucky show? It's just not fair!

But, I haven't given up on Jimmy yet. I really do believe his show will get funnier. This is pretty funny.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

. . . just because

The Good

#1 - God exists . . . oh yes he does!!!

#2 - No one can ever stop that from being the case

#3 - Slavery is officially over in America, so if you have a bad day at work; you can always go home at the end of the day and do whatever the heck you want to do (even if it means searching for a new job)

#4 - There's a pot for every lid (you tiger you!)

#5 - It's quicker to lose weight than to gain it (it really is!)

#6 - Playing a video game sharpens your logic and thinking ability (so pick one up, they're fun)

#7 - Having a pet improves your quality of life (unless you're a hoarder, in which case it um . . . doesn't help)

#8 - Today is the first day of the rest of your life

#9 - Laughing burns calories and tightens tummy muscles

#10 - Nobody looks exactly like you, so that automatically makes you your own fashion pioneer

# 11 - A glass of red wine once a day is actually good for your health

#12 - The good always outweighs the bad

The Bad

#1 - You're going to die

#2 - There's not a damn thing you can do about it

#3 - You can't choose your family members.

#4 - Relationships are full of compromises.

#5 - (For the ladies) Women's breasts officially begin sagging at the tender age of 23

#6 - Ice cream is hard for the human body to process

#7 - The tomato is a fruit

#8 - Currently, health care is not very affordable to the average middle class family

#9 - You will embarrass yourself in life and you can't ever predict when or where it will happen next

#10 - Banks make most of their money through late fees

The Ugly

The fish that swims up your toodles.

Now have a nice day! :-)

Wedding #2

Not a soap box rant. I repeat, not a soap box rant!

We are advertis'd by our loving friends.

William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

So I went to another wedding. This time as a bridesmaid. My sorority sister (who also happens to be one of my best friends) got married two days ago and let me tell you this wedding was completely different from the first wedding I mentioned a couple months ago.

Let's just say that I didn't spend the whole night trying to help the videographer interview guests (lol, who does that?) so that I wouldn't have to sit at my own table full of married couples who wanted to know when I - the only one without a date - would be getting married. Instead, I was actually able to enjoy myself. I got to wear the sexiest, most glamorous bridesmaid dress. Oh, and my favorite part . . . my besty made sure to seat me, and another one of our sisters who happened to be flying solo that night, at a table full of handsome, single guys. We both had the biggest, cheesiest smiles on our faces all night.

Now THAT is how you treat your single friends at a wedding. :-)

I'm still a little giddy!